7 month old won't stay asleep

[justgotosleeppls]

Please help, I'm tearing my hair out.

My 7 month old DS has never been a great sleeper, but was doing okay initially, stretches getting longer etc. At about 3 months he slept through the night for two weeks, it was the best two weeks of my life! Then it all went downhill again.

I thought it was just a regression and to wait it out but it's getting worse. He wakes every hour, sometimes can go an hour and a half but never longer than that. He needs breastfeeding back to sleep and screams blue murder if I try anything else. DH has been able to rock/shush/cuddle back to sleep occasionally but it takes a long time.

I tried introducing bottles and he does have a bottle at bedtime, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. We're weaning and he's eating small amounts of food in the day, but not a lot. Still breastfeeds in the day too. He will not take a dummy at all.

I've tried infacol and dentinox in case it's wind, I always get burps up after feeds etc. I've tried cooler bedroom, warmer bedroom. Pitch black, night light, silence, white noise, music. Tried sleeping bag, blankets, bath routine, massage, lavender sleep mist etc. He's teething so he has Calpol when in pain too. But it's been months and nothing is working.

DH wants to put DS in our bed as he seems more settled there (although he still does wake, it's easier to soothe him back to sleep). I am really worried that I've already created awful sleep associations by breastfeeding back to sleep every time, and I'm worried about creating a slew of bad habits. I don't like bed sharing and obviously I could put up with it for a while, but I want DS in his own cot/bed eventually and I'm worried that it will create a habit and he'll never go into his own bed.

I'm also concerned about safety, and I don't know what people do in the evening when bed sharing - how do you put baby to bed and then leave to continue your evening? Surely it's not safe?

Looking for any tips, advice, help, reassurance I've not created an absolute monster who will never sleep through a night again 😭 just really desperately needing sleep, but also scared I've messed it all up. DD was not like this at all! Please help!

Anyone? Any advice appreciated

Someone will be along with proper advice soon but you haven't created a sleep monster it's just babies are mad and don't seem to care about sleep like the rest of us!

You can make a plan and stick to it and work out what is ideal for you and baby and the rest of the family, something realistic. But it may change as baby gets older and changes.

I had a lot of mum friends when DC were little and everyone did it differently (militant routines, no routines, co sleeping etc) and all the babies started sleeping a lot better after they turned one and older, think the first year is just a bit mad

Sleep training (Ferber method) was literally life changing for me.

My DS could only stay asleep once he’d learned to go to sleep by himself. Before that he woke up every 45 minutes.

I downloaded the book, stayed up all night reading it and did it the next day. He slept for the longest stretch he’d ever had in his life.

I didn’t think sleep training was for me (for all the usual reasons) but it was the best decision I ever made. Even if you’re sure it’s not for you, there’s no harm in reading the book.

The first night there was 20 mins of crying (in total, not in one stretch). 10 mins the second night. Third night, asleep within seconds. And most importantly stayed asleep. We did 2 feeds per night at first, then cut down to 1 feed at 8 months, and no wake ups at 9 months.

My DS is nearly 3 now and still goes to sleep within seconds and stays asleep. Other parents of toddlers I know still spend hours putting their kids to bed and are up all night with them. It’s still the best parenting decision I’ve ever made.

I’m a co-sleeper and it hasnt created a habit here. Re safety leaving them for the evening in bed, we have toddler bedsides on our bed and a monitor, remove the bedding and use safer sleeping rules for co-sleeping.

I’d say sleep sounds normal. Also breastfeeding to sleep isn’t a negative association and as they grow dad will naturally be able to do it more. My DD always does bedtime with dad now (she’s 2y) and then sometimes she bf in the night for 10 mins and other times not. But it’s not been an issue with associations, really.

Thank you so much, that's really helpful.

@DuploTrain what age did you start the sleep training? I have considered it to be honest but if I leave him even for a few minutes (to get a breather or scream into a pillow!) he just screams and gets himself more worked up, so I can't see how it would work for him at this age! But I will definitely look into it!

Some babies just won't respond to sleep training, mine wouldn't at all, it's just not her temperament.

We co sleep but have a floor bed, so I feed her to sleep then roll away and have a bit of an evening. Sometimes she wakes after an hour and I go back in or her dad will go and settle her.

I wouldn't say breastfeeding is a negative association, if you weren't breastfeeding you'd be doing something else to support them to sleep anyway. If it's the easiest thing to get them back to sleep just go with it, but if it's too much then you'll have to persevere with another way to settle (maybe dad does all wake ups for a few days?)

For what it's worth DDs sleep was SO BAD between 8-10 months and now at 12 months it's much much better.

I always recommend Lydney hookway on IG for sleep advice.

We did it at 6 months. If you did want to do it, I would do it soon - it will only get harder as the baby gets older and can stay awake longer.

There will be screaming involved - for us it was 2 nights of feeling awful for leaving him to cry (for a few minutes at a time). Balanced with several years of gain and a happy baby that went into his cot, turned over and went to sleep before I even got downstairs and looked at the monitor. And most importantly stayed asleep!