Baby waking every hour at 8 months

[Justanewmumtobe]

Baby wakes up hourly

My baby woke up every few hours until about 3 months. Gradually his stretches increased (first stretch was often 4-5 hours). He fed(bf) a lot and was a very big baby. I was also going through a difficult break up as found out my husband was cheating as baby was born with an sti but that’s a separate story- just meant I didn’t have the mind space to do a lot of research on sleep and was winging it.

At 3 months he suddenly started waking up any time within an hour max. Thought it was a regression and would go away but months went by and I was slowly losing my mind especially doing it on my own. Asked for help and doctors advised to begin solids but could barely get a tablespoon in him as he wasn’t interested. Began co sleeping and feeding baby back to sleep.
At 7 months I was determined to improve things. I tried Ferber and it didn’t work for me. I tried cry it out and he cried for 25 mins/50 mins/50 mins and still woke up frequently so gave up third cry in the night. Also there have been times he’s cried 20 plus minutes because I’ve been so exhausted and physically and mentally couldn’t cope so just let him in the cot whilst I took a breather. No difference.

I concluded that he might have a feeding/sleep association and that he fed so much at night that he wasn’t interested in solids. Began gradually weaning off by rocking. Then I started shush/pat. Did it for naps and going to bed and would take up to an hour. Gradually started doing it during the nights too as it wouldn’t take as long (usually takes less than 10 mins now). This helped and he increased to 2- 2.5 hour stretches for half the night. However now he still wakes up hourly on some days, still wakes up several (around 5+) times a night and sometimes I can’t get him back to sleep for nearly 2 hours as feeding/ rocking / patting doesn’t work. I’ve tried reducing the patting and just keeping my hands there where I can and stepping off a much as I can and although he sleeps … he is waking up more frequently again since doing this. I have weaned him to about 2 , (sometimes 3 if he’s really crying a lot) feeds a night but I am ar a loss now with what to do and he’s turned 8 months. I have been consistent and spend hours everyday trying to get him to eat solids. Any help? He doesn’t seem ready to sleep independently as every time I’ve sat nearby or tried soothing words etc he will cry non stop. Help?!

also his naps got significantly better after shush/patting and increased to 1.5 hours ish for first nap and 45 mins to 1.5 hour for second nap. His wake windows are 2.5/2.5/3. I’ve been doing bath, baby massage, book before bed every day since about 3 months. His wake up and bed time differ because every night is so different and I’m too tired to get him up at 7 if we have both barely slept but the latest we wake up is 9am whilst I’m still off work.

8-10 months was the worst sleep period for us. Not got a lot of advice for you I'm afraid as I've never done any sleep training, just offering solidarity that it will pass eventually! DP took DD in the mornings before he left for work so I could catch up on sleep and I just really lowered my expectations for that period and tried to get as much fresh air as possible. I also started co sleeping from about 2am onwards in that period and just fed her while I dozed. At 18 months, she's back in her cot and down to an average of one wake a night unless she's ill/teething so it doesn't have to be forever if you don't want it to be! I recommend Lyndsey Hookaway and second star to the right on Instagram for really useful sleep advice. Hope you get some more sleep soon!

Thank you for replying! I wouldn’t have minded so much if it hasn’t been 5 months of this! I was hopeful it would just get better on its own.
I don’t really have anyone helping me as going through a divorce/separated which is another reason I hope I can figure this out :(

I will check out those instagram pahes, thank you for sharing and all the best to you!

It's brutal isn't it. Between 4 and 10 months my son's sleep was horrific and I can't count how many times I just sat and cried with him because I was so, so tired. I remember feeling genuinely ill for ages because I was so sleep deprived, and it is the one thing that is making me doubt the decision to try for another baby! I never co-slept or sleep trained so I probably don't really have any useful advice, sorry, just solidarity. What worked for us in the end was just sitting with him in the night. If he woke up, I would leave him in his cot and just stay with him. I would shush him or stroke his hand if he was upset, and in the end, he started taking himself off to sleep. Things improved massively at 10 months, then from 16ish months he's more or less slept through apart from the occasional night. I am no expert, just another mum who has been where you are and I think this is the worst bit sleep wise, but it in my experience it does get better. Everything is a phase and all that. I would say try and have a routine. I know you're knackered and the last thing you want to do is wake him up at 7am but honestly, it might be worth a go. I found once my son was going to bed and getting up at the same time it gave everything a bit of structure. Also, look at the wake windows as a guide rather than something to stick to. My son dropped to one nap really early at 10 months, and that's when he started sleeping better at night. I think he was having too much day sleep, and he probably needs the lower end of the average sleep for their age. So his naps might be something to look at too. Again, I'm not an expert just sharing what helped for me.

We had a 7m sleep regression and at 9m we sleep trained. The best thing we ever, ever did. It put in place a lasting structure of good sleep habits which saw DC nail it for years to come. The whole household was miles happier. I only wish we'd done it sooner.

Thank you! I really hope it gets better soon as it’s affecting my mental health- sitting and crying like you. Also going through a rough break up at the same time makes it harder .

I think you’re right and the next thing I will try is to just wake him up at the same time every day. I will then see if I need to reduce his naps. Thanks again for the support!

Thank you for replying! What kind of sleep training method did you use? I feel like I’ve tried everything now but wonder if I’ve missed something!

tried Ferber, cry it out and also reducing assistance (minimal shush/patting now)

We paid a sleep consultant a few hundred quid. I expect you could replicate much of that with a book. But essentially she helped us track the awake times and nap times, implemented white noise, only sleeping in the cot, particular book song and phrase every single time they go down so they know what to expect - all about routine. Then actual putting to bed bit: sitting by the cot the first couple of nights (shushing and sleepy phrase but not touching), then same but chair a little way from cot, then chair by the door, then out the door - over ten nights. 1st night took 45mins maybe (and yes a bit of crying, but they're not on their own), second night less, etc. you just have to stick to your guns, having confidence you're doing the right thing for you both.

Sending you strength x

It's the 8 month sleep regression. It's brutal. Cancel all your plans and try to survive. Takeaway + sleep at any and every opportunity. Good luck.

Have you explored reflux? One of the signs of reflux in my daughter at that age was excessive feeding through the night. When her reflux is bad she wakes for a feed as the milk soothes the discomfort only it also is the cause of the discomfort and triggers a difficult cycle.

At 8 months my daughter has zero interest in weaning barely ate a spoon of food a day and woke 5 times a night for a feed. She was formula fed by the time she had a massive reflux relapse at 13 months when she went from drinking 5oz overnight to 15-20oz!

Thank you so much. I have been implementing much of this but the one thing I’m confused about is what about the night wakings? Because every method seems to say what to do to put them to sleep but then what about when they wake up again within an hour? Do you sit by the bed again for 45 minutes and get them to sleep? I think I’m ready to sit by the bed and try not touching and hope that it will work! I am using huckleberry app and also just experimentation which has helped know his wake windows for the most part. Naps are much better as a result.

I’ll update with what happens today when I sit by the cot !

Thank you for sharing! How would I know other than waking up that he has reflux? He doesn’t seem to have issues burping etc and I have weaned him off from feeding every time. Someone told me that a sign of reflux is they dislike being put down to lay? But he seems okay with it? It might explain the not eating solids though too so thanks for letting me know! Where or how can I know for sure?

My daughter had previously had issues with reflux so when I saw that comfort eating overnight was a sign we figured hers had gotten worse again. We had her medication increased and we were strict with no more than 2 feeds at night and got her down to 2 1-2oz.drinks of oat milk at night

If we listen very carefully we can hear her bring up a fed and swallowing it. She refluxes at night but it was only when she was a newborn that she refused to lie down. From being an older baby to a toddler she has been worse when lay flat from being restless but she doesn't object or lying down like she did before. When she is peak reflux she will sleep calmly in our arms but thrashes about in her bed. She is somewhere in the middle on pillows but she doesn't stay on them - its not recommended for under 1s to have pillows though

We have just been/are going through this at the moment, but seem to be coming out the other side.

We did previously do Ferber, and I think it's helped with self settling, but at the moment we're cuddling to sleep.

For night wakings when DD is still drowsy I normally feed and cuddle back to sleep, but if she's wide awake and grinning at me I've found the best thing for my sanity is just to get up for an hour or two. Go downstairs, make a decaf tea and pop Ms Rachel on the telly. Once they're looking sleepy, put them back to bed as you would the beginning of the night.

We are coming out the other side at the moment and sleep is much better than before the regression. Fingers crossed for you!

Hi OP how are you getting on now? I’m in exactly the same boat - 8 months old, never slept more than 3 hours in his life, wakes basically hourly and has done since he was 3 months old. We’ve tried Ferber, pick up put down, weighted sleep suits, swaddling, dummy/no dummy, sleep consultant, osteopath, reflux meds, colic medication…. Nothing works. We co sleep full time as it’s the only way I can survive, he still wakes hourly but it helps to maximise my sleep. He seems totally healthy and happy otherwise, just wakes constantly and falls back to sleep as soon as he’s in my arms.
i mean I get it that it’s normal for babies to want to sleep with their mum. But I’m losing my mind tired. Hoping you are having more success than me!

Hey! So I’m doing much better and he started waking up once a night (but back to 2-3 times now and I’m okay with that considering it’s not hourly!) it took a lot of work and trial and error but basically I continued shush and patting I can definitely say the biggest thing is the baby learning independent sleep - I.e put in bed and they can fall asleep themselves. How did I do that? It was honestly unintentional as one night I tried to soothe him to sleep and nothing was working especially since I had reduced/removed the associations. I was almost in a worse place as he was stuck with nothing helping him sleep and unable to sleep himself. So I gave up after an hour or two of soothing and was mentally exhausted and laid by his bed as he sadly cried (however he was crying anyway as I couldn’t soothe him to sleep). He eventually fell asleep and the next day was so exhausted from a bad night that I tried to see if he’d sleep independently and he did! Automatically his stretches were much longer too.
Anyway the following night he wasn’t as exhausted but I sort of let him fuss it out and the success continued. Now I think my method wasn’t really a typical CIO but more that I think I was so afraid of letting him figure things out and I needed to let him. His sleep got better after that and there have been bad days but generally IF he cries before bed , it is not for long. If it does seem like he’s really upset then I go to him and I find that now that I know he’s capable of independent sleep, it’s easier to know when he’s upset/teething/uncomfortable/ genuinely hungry etc.

another thing I found super helpful was the huckleberry app. It provides a sweet spot and I found it very accurate for naps and bed times (he would sleep almost on the dot). they also provide a personalised sleep plan once you log a few nights sleep (I ended up getting his sleep better before they sent the plan but I read it and it was very comprehensive and almost exactly what I did but without all the errors).

hope that helps at all! Let me know if you have any other questions as I’m typing half asleep haha

Thank you for your detailed response! I’ll try recreating your method. So did you do this while he was sleeping in your bed? Or was he in his cot with you next to him? At what point were you able to remove yourself entirely and let him go to sleep alone?