DD wants to move out

[Conniebygaslight]

Hi all, our DD is 17 and is in a manipulative/abusive relationship with her BF. He currently lives with friends in a very rough area. Our DD has told us she will be getting a flat with him, in the same area when she's 18 in a few months. She works and drives and he doesn't. They go nowhere together as he refuses, withn the exception of McDonalds etc. He wont go to a restaurant or cinema with her, he world is so incredibly small. He refuses to come into contact with us at all and is trying to isolate our DD from us. She has already given up her friends and only sees him. She has a wonderful home-life and we are a very close and loving family. This boy's world is so far removed from hers and our other children are desperately worried about her. I think she feels sorry for him and wants to put a roof over his head. It's breaking our hearts that she is so adamant with this. She's said that we will not be allowed to visit her when she goes and it's because we've made him feel bad about cheating on her which he did for a full year. We have tried to get him to come to us but he refuses. He also takes drugs and we think he's getting her to drive him around selling them. We are worried to death....has anyone gone through similar and come out the other side?

Lobster Boy Mk2, absolutely nothing you can do. Withdraw the funding and let her live her life. Sorry that is so harsh.

she will earn 18k when she turns 18. It will be tight but she can rent a bed sit in his town £150 per week including bills. It won’t leave her with much to enjoy things but they don’t do anything anyway. I’ve thought for so long that it’s just a pipe dream but I know after asking around that it’s possible…unfortunately

What funding?

She might need a guarantor though and you don’t have to agree to this. I doubt he’ll have a good credit history either.

@Conniebygaslight the half on insurance

A friend of mine is a letting agent. She says there are lots of unscrupulous landlords in that area who will rent without checks or a guarantor.

It’s paid already

I think you need to stage an intervention with her when you are in Australia. Wait until you've been there about 10 days. It would be really good if he wasn't able to contact her in that time. I'd even try to lose her phone. The reason she's so agitated if she's away from him is that she knows he's probably cheating on her.

Thanks, but I’m not going only her dad (my husband) and her brother. I think this tactic would push her further to him. They’re only going for 2 weeks. I agree with what you say about her agitation. He also makes threats to finish with her all the time as we won’t currently let her stay over there.