5 year old and rage/anger

[Freshair1]

Is this a normal thing for a 5 year old? We have a lovely, sociable little boy. No worries at school, gets on with relatives but for the past few weeks he's just been difficult. Not all the time, but just things like tearing up pictures he's done, or screaming in rage at small things. He looks upset when he's angry. Tearful. Is this like a developmental leap? We are very careful to calmly talk, identify the feeling, hugs etc etc. But the slamming of doors, or the throwing of toys and the sudden outbursts are upsetting. He doesn't have any SEND, I do however think he's inherited my slightly anxious genes and I'm really aware of modelling calm breathing etc. Never parented a five year old before and guess I'm looking for reassurance. Maybe it's holidays and absence of routine, Christmas, general brattiness?

My 4yo is going through a similar stage but in a sense of can’t be told no, and not able to be redirected therefore, lots of screaming, hitting, spitting, throwing self round the room, snatching! Wonderful LG most of the time but soon as it’s time to move on from something she’s doing , bedtime or being told no that’s it! I’m at a loss too ! I X

This is exactly what is happening here. If it's not what he wants then all hell breaks loose.

@Ooopsi this has made me feel more alone, my 4, nearly 5 year old gets SO angry. Hitting, screaming. It's hard work as I don't always know what to do.

You could use timers for activities, so they know when something will end. Also giving a time warning so, three minutes left, two minutes etc, then “time to e.g. tidy away, have a bath…”. Also explain what is happening now and next, so that transitions are not so difficult. So “first breakfast, then get dressed”. Also, rather than saying no, give a choice, so instead of “no, you can’t have chocolate now”, you could say apple, or banana? These are strategies typically used to reduce anxiety in children with autism, but would equally be suitable for any child where transitions are tricky.

Yup i use a timer, it’s always a ‘No I said 5 more minutes’ forever doing the first this then this repeatedly. I just have a child that won’t have it basically !

You’re not alone! I’m clueless at times admittedly I get to a point where I shout but it don’t solve anything - my LO can go off on one for around 45 minutes if she gives it a good enough go!

My 5 year old is the same. But as quick as he goes up, he comes down again (thank god). It's usually fuelled by lack of fuel...hanger tantrums. That and losing at Mario on the switch. That's his favourite thing to lose his shit about. Oh, and bedtime. That's a real doozy! Other than that, he's a delight.