My 18 month old literally hates me

[Mummychick2024]

Hi everyone. I feel so ashamed/embarassed posting this, but I just need to ask if anyone has had any similar experiences.
my daughter will be 18 months soon, first born - complete love of my life. She’s been to nursery now for nearly 6 months (2 days a week) and loves it. She was EBF and we had the most amazing bond. But for the past 1.5 months now, she’s wanted literally NOTHING to do with me. When I come in from work (4 days a week), she turns away from me or growls haha; she’s all my husband or my mum (Nanny). Doesn’t want to play with me, will never give me a hug. I carry on doing bath and bed, dinner etc, and I try to have a lovely day off with her just us 2 in the week. I just don’t know where it went wrong and I’m constantly analysing my behaviour and where things have changed. I try not to push my affection, I just let her be and hope she comes to me.
Has anyone else experienced this? This is the furthest thing away from what I envisioned as a new mum and I just don’t want to let her down xxx

This is really normal OP. My DD (also EBF) went through a massive Daddy phase at that age and would always choose him over me. It went on for a while, but now she's 16yo and we have a really good, close relationship.

Normal. He’s now 2.5yo and obsessed with me again and only wants cuddles from me. I’m also EBF a 6mo. To say I hate being touched us an understatement.

Thankyou so so much for your replies; just that reassurance is so comforting. Can I ask how long it went on for? I know everyone is different and every child is different xxx

Incredibly hurtful normal 🥴

I come down to see my dd in the morning and she turns away, if I try to cuddle her she face pushes me and tells nononononono NO!

😂😂😂

I just say that’s okay mummy loves you anyway you are my best girl… shall we have breakfast (or whatever)

Had this with my eldest too. Gutting! My sister also did with her eldest. It’s a phase albeit a horrible one. It’s because they feel so secure in the relationship with you they can treat you like shit or something. She’s now 17 and absolutely delightful and has been for most of her life bar the first 2.5 years!

You are her first and strongest attachment, she trusts you aren’t going anywhere. She’s busy building other connections right now and she doesn’t have the headspace for more than that, give her time, she’ll settle and things will become more balanced.

Mine came back to me when he turned 4! It happened overnight. He suddenly started asking for cuddles and kisses and saying he loved me 😊

Thankyou so much everyone; means the world to hear others have had the same experiences xxx

We had a phase around the same age. I tried really hard not to take it personally, but I won't lie it did sting a little 🙃 I'd say it lasted a couple of months and we're all back to normal now (which is a slight preference for me, DH and I are very equal parents).

You just need to reframe it in your mind. You've done a brilliant job of building a such a strong bond with her that she knows you aren’t going anywhere so she doesn’t need to worry about it.

I think this is normal! My two have been through mummy phases, daddy phases, it switches. Sometimes the phase lasts a couple of days, sometimes months. I think it depends on what they need developmentally. It's hurtful though! Try not to let it cloud your relationship with her. She'll be back to a mummy phase soon enough and then you'll be wishing for the space 😂

Thankyou so much xx

Thankyou so so much xxx

I promise you this is incredibly normal. Mine turned two a few months ago. From around 14 months she was absolutely obsessed with her Dad and just wanted him for everything. If we picked her up from nursery together she'd run straight to him to be picked up and if I picked her up by myself she'd immediately ask for him. The rest of the time would be a constant stream of Dada / Daddy whether he was there or not! When she turned two she suddenly switched back her attention and is attached to me. I was so miserable about it as she was EBF and was so content with me as baby while I was on maternity leave, but I promise she'll switch back. My DP's theory is that's it's because the Dad is usually seen as the fun parent whilst the Mum is one for the fundamentals (food, comfort etc.)

God this brought me back. I was so upset when my ds1 did this - only wanted daddy. My third one spent the first year clung to me and then almost exactly on her second birthday decided she only wanted daddy. This time I wasn't upset I was laughing. She spent her third year back with me.

Thankyou so much for your support xxx