PLEASE HELP - 8 month old not bonding with Dad

[Tiger86]

Anyone have any tips on how I can get baby to bond better with Dad. Baby is breastfed and Dad works long hours at least 12 hour days and so sometimes she doesn't see him for a few days. Everytime she is left with Dad she cries. I can't help but step in although I know I shouldn't. I've left the house but He says she just cries and I can feel his stress when I come back and can't stand the thought of them both stressed out I just want them to have a nice time together. Just feel like they don't have a great bond. I have an older son who loves his Dad and never went through this stage as a baby always happy to spend time with Dad. I need to go back to work to do Keeping in Touch days and I'm so worried about leaving them. Should I just leave baby to cry with Dad even if it goes on for ages?

Can you do some nice trips out with them both, so that she’s relaxed, but he gradually does more with her?

It sounds quite normal if she doesn't see him for days at a time. How much time do they spend together when he isn't working? Is he hands on the rest of the time?

When he is with you, instead of just leaving them to try and force it he can do things like be present and nearby talking and maybe stroking her head when she feeds, help with bathing alongside you, change nappies alongside you, sit together with you holding her maybe but he reads a story, even young mine likes some of the high contrast books etc. Help with feeding and being present at mealtimes. It might be that he needs to up time where he is very present with her but with you still there too. It can't really be forced. Then you can build up a little that he takes over more of the "caring tasks" again with you present, or nipping in and out etc.

8 months is prime time for separation anxiety as well. Contrary to popular belief, it is not just best to 'leave them to it' or leave the little one to cry unless you have no other option. During separation anxiety the baby needs consistent response from the attached to care giver to build confidence. It's a whole other thing you can look into. Most importantly it is a phase as well, with peaks and troughs.

As above I would build on them spending time together when you are all together. Doing fun things and the mundane things as well. So if it's a walk, have dad push the pram so baby is looking at him. If it's lunch time, have dad feed baby, if it's bath time have dad do it etc etc. You are always there on the sidelines for the confidence boost and to support. Baby needs to see dad as a care giver too as well as a fun activity sort of person ☺️