Single parent having a fresh start 2023 - advice

[Newbeginningg]

I need some advice girls.

I’m living with family after an abusive relationship but have decided this year is the year I move out and get back on my feet.

I previously had a good career earning £35k, I’m living in London at the moment and I understand that rentals are so expensive at the moment I’d probably have to move an hour ish from family to start over somewhere.

I have twins age 9 and a three year old. How do you girls juggle childcare on your own, like after school clubs/childminders but what do you do in school holidays? Before school?

Sorry I’m just looking for some advice, the council only offer me a hostel and I’d rather not put extra on the council if I could manage it myself and have a fresh start etc.

I’m thinking I have two options…

I’m guessing my routine would be having to leave my hypothetical house at 7am to drop them at family by 8 and get to work for 9ish.
I’d then have to pick them up after work around 6 and get home just after 7. Meaning the kids wouldn’t eat until around 7.30-8 and then have baths etc bedtime would be 9pm.
Ive had some mixed responses about this with friends telling me I’m cruel to put my kids through such extensive travel, they’d definitely have some kind of snack after school with family before I did pick them up etc.

the other option would be moving schools closer to where I move, but again I’m unsure how the childcare would work in that situation. Paying out for childminders etc.

any advice or tips on starting over with childcare options would be grateful 🙏🏼

also I meant fresh start 2024 !! Haha

Sorry to blunt but that doesn't sound at all realistic. Your children will have nowhere near enough sleep and their lives will be spent shuttling from one place to another, it would be incredibly disruptive. I wouldn't put my child through it.

There is no way you are going to be able to pay for childcare on that salary without help. What CMS will you be able to claim? Can family help financially at all? Are there are any alternative jobs in your area of work that would allow flexible WFH so you can reduce your childcare burden? That combined with moving to a much lower cost area might be the most viable if financial support isn't an option.

Local nurserys or childminders are the answer here.
A local private nursery to me also had a breakfast and after school club for primary school children that dropped children off and picked them up from school 06:00-08:30 and 15:00-19:00 and then 06:00-19:00 in the school holidays.

Universal credit will help with childcare costs.

Well sorry you wouldn’t put your child through it, but I also don’t have much choice but to
do something. I have no financial help from family and I’m currently staying in one room with three kids trying to rebuild my life. So I don’t need bluntness with all due respect, I need friendly advice for motivation.

Thank you! I’m thinking this is the best option too, I’ll look into the childcare help!

You asked for opinions on your options which I gave, and you said yourself others had already commented it was an unsuitable solution.

I would look to how you can reduce your childcare burden as I can't see how you will afford that amount of childcare + wrap around care x 3. You can claim up to about £1600 per month help via universal credit if eligible but could be paying £80-100 per child per day for what you'll need, (£12-1500 per week). I'm just being realistic. If you have no family help I would move yourself and your job to a much cheaper area and find a job that is local and gives good flexibility so you can work some of your hours in the evening and reduce your childcare costs.

Sorry that doesn't take into account government funded hours, but assuming your 9 month olds will get max 15 hours each and 3 year old 30, you're still probably looking at £800 odd per week, bit less maybe if you're in a cheaper area.

Why do you need to move an hour away?

Why not move out but somewhere closer and still use your family for childcare support or are they not willing to help?