Baby at 38…how is/was it?

[KinderEggg]

I have a 5 year old and contemplating having another one. I always wanted 2 but didn’t expect to leave such a big age gap or to be this old (37) having a second (DS has had numerous health issues so TTC just got put back - he’s okay now).

DS is so independent now. We sleep well, we have a routine. I just can’t imagine adding a baby into the mix…I wish I was younger. I feel like I am going to be tired all the time. Ideally I wanted to reach my 40s and be able to relax a little but I’ll have a 2 year old if TTC is successful.

However I don’t want DS to be an only child. He doesn’t have many cousins.

Tell me how it is…

I'm the same age - had dc2 last year, I just didn't bounce back quite the same as I did in my early 30s. Also this baby does not sleep so we went from a civilised life with a decent routine with toddler dc1 (he was potty trained, sleeping, eating family foods etc) to being back in the baby stage of life which was quite a shock. But worth it nonetheless but I found the jump from one to two fairly a fairly epic culture shock. I know not all mums by any means feel that way and I wouldn't change it although it is tough xx

I had one at that age and I'd say go for it. I think you will always wonder if you don't.

Had my second 1.5 months shy of my 38th birthday- she’s now 13. I didn’t think anything of it tbh- know lots of other mums a similar age to me with similar age children. It was hard but she was a demanding baby (and is a demanding 13 year old) and I don’t know of it would have been any easier if I was younger. If you want another then go for it, it’s not too late.

I had my dd at 38, her siblings were 16 and 21 by then. Tiring yes but so we're her siblings although I was much younger when they were babies.

I'd say if you want another go for it, dad is now 14 and can be demanding but she's also a joy to be around for me.

I had my first at 33 and wasn't even sure I wanted another due to the shock of it all, and PND. Started trying again at 36 and after two miscarriages had my boy at 39. Even though he was a worse sleeper than our daughter, he was so sweet that we actually considered a third. Then he was
2 years old and lockdown hit and no way...done 😁 But I don't feel like an older parent, for sure. I'm tired, but we all are.

I had my first at 32 and second at almost 38 so quite similar to you.

No regrets at all. I really wanted a sibling for my first child and, by the time she was 5, she was asking for one too!

Eldest is nearly 18 now and they have always got on brilliantly. The age gap wasn't a big issue for them. Some of that just comes down to the individual kids and their interests and personalities.

I was definitely more tired the second time around but I think that's just because you're already a parent, rather than a big difference in the age of the mother. Late thirties isn't that old!

It's definitely a bit of a shock going back to the newborn stage when you've got one into school - but I think I would have found it harder to have a toddler and a newborn to be honest.

I didn't plan the gap. I had some health issues, there were some health issues with my first and then the second took a bit longer than I anticipated. But it's all worked out well in the end.

I had dc1 aged 38 and dc2 aged 42. I'm healthy and active and have never felt particularly tired as a parent, but then I've always been used to late nights and don't need much sleep. I didn't find it that much of a shock to go back to having a newborn - it didn't feel that long ago to me. Physically I'm not noticing any issues and I'm very hands-on, lots of carrying my youngest and climbing up the soft play rather than sitting on the sidelines.

I liked having a bigger gap between dcs - having dc1 in nursery/school meant I could do all the fun classes and groups I'd done all over again, and treat dc2 as an individual with lots of one to one time. I do have pangs of guilt sometimes when I'm having to look after both dc on my own - dc2 loves me to play with her and I often almost ignore her as I'm chasing after a toddler now. But DH is with us at weekends and evenings so we usually take one dc each, and they both get loads of one to one time then.

I had another pg between those two, which had genetic abnormalities and I had a TFMR. I'd definitely recommend getting the NIPT test privately, as it can be done early and then you can deal with any decisions as early as possible.

My dcs are all happy and healthy. Dc3 was a pound heavier than dc2 as I had gestational diabetes. But it was symptomless and easy to control, with no other complications. I had elective c-sections with both pgs, which went smoothly and I've had no ongoing issues, and I've done extended breastfeeding with both dc.

Had first at 37 and second at 41 and it's a perfect age gap and I found it a million times easier the second time around.

First at 32 and second at 37! The 2nd took a much bigger toll on my body. I got huge as well when I was really neat with my first. Harder to bounce back (but I did) though skin not as springy so things don’t look as good! As for the actual baby - so glad we had a second. It’s a good age gap as first born started school just after 2nd arrived so we weren’t having to deal with two all the time.. it was just like starting again - but not as stressful as we had done everything before. 1st born loved having a baby sibling. And they interact well especially now 2nd born is a little older. Definitely worthwhile doing!

First two at 26 and 29... last one at 39!! Planned (hubby's only bio child). Teach ft too so totally and utterly knackered!! He's had the snip 😄

Following! I’m 38 and TTC #1. I have PCOS and my periods have only become regular as I’ve got older (35+).

I’m interested to hear the experience of others who had their DC at 38 and older.