Third baby?

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I have two children, boy girl 12 & 7. I know it seems mad but I’ve always wanted 3 kids. I always knew I would have another after my second child. I absolutely love kids and feel like they’re now at an age where I just feel a bit hopeless and lost.

I know they will always be my children but the rush and chaos of life has left and now im bored with life. I day dream of having another one. One last one. My OH wouldn’t chose to have another but said if I really want to he would.

we have hardly any family support but both have good jobs. We have a spare bedroom etc etc so practically we would be fine.

im 33, I had my kids young so now lots of friends and family are having their babies I crave the same.

Hiya - I’m not really sure if you’re asking for experience of a 3rd baby? But just in case you are… I had two who were 11 and 7 when I had my 3rd and it’s been miraculous. Both of them totally dote on the 3rd one (now 2) and he lights up when he sees his older siblings. They’re all so so cute together.

it’s hard regarding holidays because everyone is at such different stages but tbh the older ones adore the little one so much that they don’t mind doing ‘baby stuff’ because they get so much joy from making him laugh.

It’s been so wonderful. I’d recommend it to anyone! (I am knackered tho!)

Yes! I think there is lots of threads with smaller age gaps but I almost feel past it as my kids are older, thanks for your reply. It’s helpful.

Don’t do it! Take the easy and sensible option and enjoy your freedom with the two you’ve got.

Yes this is the sensible option. I’m just fed up, they occupy themselves, I often just scroll on my phone, watch tv or open a bottle of wine. I miss my little babies

I have 2 year old twins and can't shake the urge for a third too. So not really any advice but in similar boat! Do you have any of the baby stuff left? I can't help but feel it would be easier having just one child in comparison (although obviously massively depends on the baby!) You are still young and would have two little helpers. Although I do hear that 3 is a tricky number...

No baby stuff at all!

Don’t create a person just because you’re bored. Your fella doesn’t want another kid anyway.

‘I often just scroll on my phone, watch tv or open a bottle of wine.’ What hobbies and self fulfilment have you tried?

But eventually your third baby would grow up and then what?

Im not saying having a third in your situation is wrong. You are young and you can afford it. But if I was you I’d be focusing on hobbies/self care/volunteering/whatever, instead of going right back to the beginning to fill the void you have currently.

Thanks I guess that’s what it is. I’m feeling empty. I have signed up to a half marathon. Started exercising. Stopped drinking. So I definitely am feeling more positive about the future anyway. I just have a niggle and miss my old life with my babies. But I guess you’re right. They do grow up and then what.

Your 12 year old will need more imput around school and exams from Yr 9, and then by the time that's done your youngest will need you in a similar way, it gets intense.
I think you need to focus on trying to do something for just you a hobby or qualification, a goal that you can work towards.
You know your partner doesn't really want another child so it would be very wrong to try an manipulate him in to agreeing, you don't need a third it would be unfair.

I have a 12 year old dd and 11 year old dss and just about to have a 3rd. Never planned a 3rd but looking forward to it now. If you want a 3rd and you and your partner can agree on it I'd say go for it.

You want a third and you're young enough for it to be feasible. Your partner says yes. What's stopping you?

@herewegoroundtheblueberrybush the man doesn’t want another kid. What’s stopping her are presumably logical, measured thoughts rather than sheer boredom.

That's not exactly what the op said. She said her DH would have another if she wants one. She also didn't say she wants another simply out of boredom but because she misses having a baby.

I've just had my 3rd 10 weeks ago and although my age gap is a little different (4&6) it's been the best decision I've ever made. I always wanted a 3rd and went back and fourth with my husband but we decided to bite the bullet and we have zero regrets. I always worried as well that I'd have this urge to have more but I feel very much done and complete now. Good luck to you with whatever you decide.

I think you should go for it, you’re young enough & although the baby years don’t last forever, in my experience you cherish it even more with the third.

My gaps are smaller than yours - my eldest were 7 and 5 when the little one arrived, but the littlest is the light of all ours lives. He’s brought so much joy to the family. He himself is at school now and although I am very much a baby person, I felt ready to let go of that stage of my life in a way I didn’t after the eldest two.

I agree absolutely. There are no practical reasons why you can't have a third child if that's what you want. You seem to be financially secure and sensible about things,
I'd say go for it.

I am one of three with a 4 year gap between the 1st and 2nd, 7 year gap between 2nd and 3rd and 11 year gap between 1st and 3rd. My nan unexpectedly found herself pregnant at 46 so we also had my auntie with us who was was 2 years younger than the eldest. My dad has age gaps of 2-21 years between him and his 4 siblings.

I loved being one of 3 and the big age gaps. I'm sure it was a challenge for my parents to find days out to occupy us all but I never was aware of this. I was in the middle and me and my older sister had more awareness of others needs and helped with the littlest. The littlest probably suffered from having 3 mums! Because of the age gap we all did things individually and did exams, university and puberty separately. I think because of this I rarely felt like I was sharing my parents

We are super close now more so that my partner who has a 2 year gap to his brother and the only sibling my dad has no contact with is the 2 year gap he is close with the others. All age gaps can be good or bad. It's very dependent on the children but I have had a positive experience of bigger gaps and it influenced my decision to not go for 2 close together if we go for 2.

I originally wrote a long waffle about the pros and cons of having a 3rd with a big age gap but that’s just my experience and someone else may have a totally contrasting point of view.

Ultimately I think the key point here is that your partner wouldn’t choose to have another.
We had a third when our older two were 8 and 6 but we were very much both on board. If dh wasn’t 100% sure it wouldn’t have happened.