After a traumatic few years where we sadly lost 2 newborn babies, struggled with infertility and I had to have several operations, my husband and I had our wonderful baby girl last year. I was very up and down at times with my mental health but it has overall been an amazing year with her.
The time has come for me to return to work. I'm dropping down to four days a week, as is my husband so she will only be at nursery for 3 days a week. I'm trying to go through all the advantages- she will be in nursery enough to get used to it but still get a good amount of time with her parents, she'll socialise with children her own age, she'll learn new things and she'll have financial stability from both of us maintaining our careers. But I'm getting crazy mum guilt and upsetting myself with worrying she won't be as close to me anymore. To a lesser degree, I'm worried that I won't be as good at my job anymore because I haven't been in work for so long and everything has changed whilst I've been away.
After everything I went through before having my daughter, I developed depression and PTSD and I know I have to be vigilant with my mental health. I feel like I'm on the edge a bit and hoped that the other mothers on mumsnet could reassure me.