Fussy eater theory

[bloodyhellKen22]

Inspired by a post I saw on social media about kids eating what adults eat and they won't be fussy eaters, does anyone else think this isn't true? My DD ate so much veg and a huge variety of food since weaning. She'd eat almost everything we ate and loved it. Fast forward to 18m and she only wants beige, bland food, mainly carbs. She isn't as interested in eating and I'm pretty sure would go a whole day without eating and wouldn't care.
I always offer new foods/plenty of veg but it mainly ends up on the floor and with tears (mine and hers). I feel like I've done something wrong? My DH and I are not fussy and eat lots of vegetables and try to set a good example but it doesn't work.
Any tips/reassurance that she won't be a non veg eating adult?

Kids grow out if the "fussy" stage. Just keep giving variety.

You need to look at this over a longer time period really. Toddlers are fussy about food in a largely unprincipled way - they are just making choices and being inconsistent. Thats pretty standard.

Just keep offering her the food that she sees you eating and don’t worry about things. There don’t need to be tears involved for anyone. If she doesn’t eat it and the veg remains largely ornamental for years, it’s fine. Don’t get stressed about any of it.

Just remember this is extremely normal, biologically. When we were in a hunter/gatherer lifestyle you didn’t want kids being able to put any old poisonous berry into their mouths. So we’ve evolved to get very boring about food as soon as we can move about independently. Once upon a time, this ‘fussiness’ would have been the difference between surviving and not for a toddler - a clever cave toddler made sure to only eat things that looked boring and were familiar!

Fast forward to the present day and I’m afraid I think it’s just persistence. My two are now ‘okay’ eaters (selection of veg, most fruit, familiar protein etc) but we’ve gone through a lot of picky beige stages. I can’t tell you how much veg I’ve served knowing it’s going into the waste bin / recycled for our own dinner - but it’s always on the table. Feels like forever but tried to keep it low key, no stress and eventually it feels ‘safe’ because they’ve seen it so much. Lots of modelling eating the things you’d like them to eat. And finding some vitamins they’ll tolerate helps with the worries that theyre going to get scurvy!

Mum said I lived on milk and ribena as a toddler - wouldn't eat anything. I was 3rd child back in the very late 50s when the only options were baby rusks (from 6 weeks) or what everyone else was eating. I grew out of it.

DS was fussy from weaning, and still is at 33. DD was not fussy to start, went fussy as a toddler, now is a mostly veggie marathon runner.

I wasted so many tears over their eating and saw it as a flaw in my parenting. With the benefit of hindsight I would say take the long view, try to relax. If you feel emotions welling just remember it’s her not you, keep offering tiny bits of stuff, eat together whenever feasible, don’t panic and offer her junk and snacks all the time, and move on.

This, they grow out of it if you don’t go down the route of giving them separate food. My DD was super fussy after eating everything when weaned. She’s 10 now and much more adventurous and less fussy. Some of it is peer pressure (refused to eat pizza until she went to a class party where there was a Domino’s, now loves all sorts of pizza) and some is just being a bit older.

Around 18 months the way food tastes changes for children and certain flavour are tasted very intensely so some strongly flavoured foods then become unpalatable like green veg

Curious cases of Rutherford and fry did a podcast on it. You can find it on BBC sounds and other podcast providers

I agree with pp, it’s very normal to have a fussy stage at this age but the key (and thing that seems to have changed in recent years) is sticking to your guns and waiting for them to grow out of it. I still serve my 2.5 year old a normal lunch plate of (for example) half a cheese sandwich, a few pretzels, sliced grapes, some chicken pieces, carrot sticks and strawberries, even though I know at the moment she will take the cheese out and just eat the bread and the pretzels and leave everything else. She will occasionally eat half a grape or a piece of chicken or a strawberry so I’m leaving it there and know that eventually she will come back round to eating more of that stuff. The difference is that people seem to panic a lot now about children not eating enough food and so then offer more bread/pretzels/whatever beige stuff they seem to exclusively eat and also stop offering other things. Or they start cooking separate meals to cater to individual kids wishes. That’s when it becomes ingrained and kids struggle to grow out of it. I think as long as it’s possible for them to have choices then it’s not cruel to just give them what everyone else is having and eat what they want and leave what they dont. My youngest must have been served mixed bean chilli at least 50 times before she actually would eat it 😂 but there was also rice and avocado and grated cheese and sour cream on her plate so I knew she wouldn’t starve and I just let her eat those bits.