I have a 3.5 year old daughter.
She is extremely bright and also extremely challenging. She has always favoured her dad. She is very dismissive of me, will physically lash out at me (biting, hitting, slapping) and will regularly tell me to go away, that she doesn't like me, to be quiet. My husband is very supportive and does not condone her behaviour. He often tells her to apologise and explains that she has hurt mummy's feelings and that it is not nice to say hurtful things (as do I)
She is very defiant and strong willed. She can be very destructive (often accidentally) and is constantly seeking our attention. It is extremely difficult for my husband and I to even have a conversation.
She is very boisterous and energetic, bordering on hyperactive. She has several sensory seeking behaviors.
We try to regularly praise her for good behaviour and provide her with plenty of encouragement. We are both very affectionate with her and regularly hug and kiss her and tell her we love her.
We try to explain to her why something is not appropriate or dangerous, or why we are asking her to do any given thing. We provide time outs where necessary, and neither of us have ever physically disciplined her. We try to be as consistent as possible with both our discipline and our every day routines.
However nothing we try seems to improve her behaviour. Even shouting at her (which neither of us like to do but sometimes do out of frustration) doesn't seem to work at all. She simply laughs in our face and carries on.
We are often at our wits end and I often find myself disengaging mentally from spending time with her and emotionally shutting down, often times just going through the motions. Sometimes I will physically leave the room whilst my husband tends to her as I can't take anymore.
I love my daughter with my whole heart and she was a much wished for child, but sometimes I just don't know if I can cope with many more years like this.