Being a mum with anxiety.

[G1994]

Hi all

Firstly, apologies as this post is abit negative following the festive period.

So, I’m not yet a parent. It’s actually taken me a long time to get the stage where I would like to try for a baby. Anyway, there is some possibility that I could be pregnant now, I’m just waiting until the end of the week to take a test.

I’ve lived with anxiety my whole life and it’s only really been the past couple of years that I’ve found that I can manage it.

Anyway, since coming to the decision that I would like to try for a baby, it is like I cannot breathe with worry and awful thoughts. Every single thing I do I think ‘could that harm the baby’ that goes from everything I eat to everything I’m physically doing for example, before I was steaming the floors and I thought ‘will breathing in this steam effect the baby’. I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet and the worry is consuming my mind.

It doesn’t stop there either. Since deciding to try for a baby, every ache and pain I think ‘am I okay?, am I going to need treatment that will affect the baby’ ‘what if I have a baby and I get ill and die before they grow up’ ‘what if the baby gets ill’ ‘what if the boiler breaks and I can’t afford a new one when the baby is here’ ‘what if something happens to my parents before they get to meet their grandchild’.

The list of worries and thoughts I have goes on and I really, really don’t know how to deal with it all. I know there is nothing anyone can really do on here either but I just needed to get all of this off of my chest in the hope someone, somewhere has some advice to share.

Thank you.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, @G1994 . I've struggled with anxiety too (particularly health anxiety) since I was 15 (now almost 32) and I know it sucks! I also have a 5 month old baby.

During pregnancy I was always a bit on edge as well as during labour (one of my biggest anxieties) and i did have one panic attack. But I will say, I got through it all and it was worth it for my son. I'm sure that if you do have a baby, you'll get through it too :)

I will say, I honestly don't have the time or energy to worry so much now haha but it obviously hasn't gone away 100%. Have you done any CBT in the past for your anxiety? I found it helped a bit.

Do you have a support system around you? I found it really helpful to tell someone my constant worries as they seemed less scary when said out loud.

Good luck 😊💪

Get therapy now and get your mental health in a good place.
I'm bipolar and have struggled with my mental health since I was 8, in and out of treatment since 18. I delayed TTC by about 18 months to recover from a relapse after moving house in order to start in the best position I could as I had such a high risk of relapse -50% chance of a severe episode.

You have to try really hard to hurt the baby before and after it's born. At 4 months we had a crash on the motorway at 70mph that resulted in the motorway being briefly closed. The little bean was nicely cushioned and felt no ill effects. I also had mild hyperemesis and loved of tinned peaches for most of my pregnancy as even water made me vomit. I didn't fair so well but the little one grew beautifully!

I had support from the perinatal team and they were up there with the best MH team I have had contact with and spent 10 weeks in a mother and baby unit meeting mums from all walks of life. I took 4 different antidepressants, a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic and was able to breastfeed on all of them. It was only when I needed to go on to lithium that I needed to stop. We had a 3 days stay in hospital to monitor baby for effects of the medication in pregnancy and we got extra support from the midwives for the full 30 days and saw the same midwife after the first few days of being back home. I had fortnightly and then monthly support from our HV looking after me as well as baby.