Child hates going out?

[AmazingDayz]

My 9 year old never wants to go out anywhere. It’s getting annoying now as I’m a lone parent with no one else to have him so it either means forcing him out when he moans and complains and is moody the whole time or staying in. We stayed in yesterday now he wants to stay in again today and tomorrow! It’s affecting my other children. He doesn’t “enjoy it when he gets there” like most people say will happen he just moans to go home. Anyone else’s child like this?

Can he let you know why he doesn’t like going out?

What is he doing when he is at home? Is he allowed on screens? If so, maybe banning screens until the afternoon (for example) would encourage him to accept outings.

Where have you tried going? Eg a shopping mall is different from mini golf or whatever. Surely there's something he'd like?

Where is it he’s resistant to going? Be more of a concern if he didn’t enjoy ‘fun’ stuff rather than reluctant to go round a shopping centre looking at the sales or sit quietly at your pals’ house while you chat.

I do think some kids are homebodies. I’ve got one who would happily stay in all holidays and one who’d go anywhere, anytime, largely due to major FOMO. Weirdly the gallivanting DC is more likely to moan when we’re there 😂

Is he shy/ anxious? Or just keen on doing his own thing?

He doesn’t like going anywhere and even if it was shopping I’m a lone parent so he has to come as there’s no one to leave him with (though that isn’t my plans today) he doesn’t like going anywhere. It doesn’t matter where it is, even the park he is bored of all of them.

Someone asked about screens? Some kids would rather be gaming/ online than do anything else. Can be addictive, so makes them grumpy when they have to be elsewhere? Or - is he the oldest? Maybe the park doesn’t appeal cos he feels he’s outgrown it now?

Honestly, really hard to say, there could be loads of reasons.

I would say pretty much every other 9 year old has a device so that’s pretty normal no? He’s not the oldest I have two older ones who also have screens which again is normal and they don’t mind leaving the house in fact they like going places hence why it’s affecting them. The parks have all been redone around here so now they are “babyish” was just pointing out its everywhere he doesn’t want to come wherever it is we go.

I think at the age of 9, he doesn’t get to decide. He needs to fit in with everyone else. Then in turn, everyone can fit in with him and stay at home occasionally. He’ll just have to get on with it. We all have to do things in life that we don’t want to do.

My DS was EXACTLY like this. It didn’t matter where we went- he always wanted to go home.

does your DS have other issues or “quirks”? I’m asking as my DS was (finally) diagnosed with autism when he was 14.
hes 16 now and still would rather be at home in his familiar environment than out with friends.

not saying your son has Autism, but it might be something to consider? How is he with friendships? Change of scenery? Sensory issues? Etc?
x

My daughter is 10 and had a massive strop today about being tired and not wanting to go out (a short walk). I refuse to be held to ransom by her so the i-pad went away and she walked /stropped the whole way around. Can you meet up with others? My two love a meet- up with other children and you can talk to the parents and chat.

Not suggesting he doesn't have screens, but just that there are times of the day when he can't access them if it is the screens stopping him from wanting to engage in other things.

If you say, fine we'll stay home today, but you can't be on a screen until 2pm, you might find he is more amenable to going out after all.

Kids react differently to screens- he's not the same kid as his siblings.

Maybe it's got nothing to do with screens, but worth considering.

Yeah, she’s ASD, it’s too much for her, sensory overload