Day out without baby- feel terrible

[JL642]

I have a day out today without baby (first time since Dc arrived - 14 months) and feel so down. Does anyone else get this? I am fine when I am at work (part time) as I feel that is a necessity, and I am happy with my childminder choice. Dc is with DH today and will be completely happy and fine, I just feel bad I’m not with her. I recognise that this is irrational as I’ll literally only be away 7 hours in total (2 of which she will be napping for anyway) and I’ll be back for bed time, but wow I feel bad. It’s ruined the day before I’ve even left the house before as i have this negative guilty / down feeling in my chest.

Any tips or anyone else?

I do go out occasionally but always in the evening after bed time so I don’t feel so bad as Dc is asleep so doesn’t even know.

This is ridiculous. Enjoy your day off.

She will have a great time and so will you. Enjoy your day. She is safe with her ddad.

Re frame it in your mind. You’re not escaping the baby or leaving him behind. You are giving DH and the baby really important one on one time together. They need that to have a good relationship. I’m sure you have one on one time with the baby, well he needs that with DH too. Enjoy your day and feel good that you are enhancing their bond 🙂

I think the advice from Herman is great. It's important for them to have time together without you being around. I found it gave DH a whole new appreciation of what looking after a small child was like and also helped them form a better bond.

You're very lucky. Lots of people don't get the opportunity.

It's normal to miss your DC but enjoy your day, don't waste it.

It's important for Dad to have this time with her too.

No advice as I love my free time.

i don’t feel guilty about it either because the way I see it:

• I am encouraging bonding time with daddy / granny
• it’s not okay for my needs to be deprioritised. Being unhappy doesn’t help me be better more patient more engaged parent.
• If parenting is “my job” and I view it through a work lense… you burn out if you are going full tilt all day every day. Its very necessary to recharge to ensure my DD evaluates me as a “high performer” who “exceeds expectations” in role 😎

It's not compulsory to have time away from your baby so if it doesn't suit you then there's no need to do it. My youngest is 20m and I'm with her 24/7 (sahm) - I don't identify with the guilt but I'm just happiest spending time with my dcs so I don't organise days out without them. You just have to decide if you want to have that break or not - if you have made the decision to spend time doing something else then own it and make the most of it, but don't let anyone make that decision for you.

Gosh no, my son is 19 months and I starting spending time away from him for a few weeks old. I need regular breaks to be a good mum, to recharge and to look after myself. I relish time to myself and ensure every few months I get a weekend away and regularly take days off when he's in nursery too. For me it's absolutely necessary to get this time so I burnt out. Zero guilt whatsoever.

Your dd won't remember you being away and it's healthy as they grow to get used to being with other people. Your DH also needs to know how to parent on his own.

I did anything for some time to myself.

Having adult time is a necessity too, as is your DH having alone time with baby so maybe look at it that way?