3 year age gap - thoughts?

[ellecf21]

Would just like to hear experiences of those whose little ones have a 3 year age gap.

How was it managing a newborn and 3yo?
How did the 3yo adapt?

Advice welcome!

Mine are all 3 school years apart.
Helps in that they aren't all doing GCSEs and A Levels at the same time
Helps in that, in theory, if they go to University, one leaves before the next one starts (obviously unless they do a longer course or start a year late, but at least reduces the number of years you are supporting more than one)
Helps in that they get chance to be in groups and classes (like cubs) on their own and not constantly being 'dc1's sister', but treated more like an individual (though some will say it is more work for parents, taking them to things on different nights / at different times)
Helps in terms of things being able to be passed down / saving money.
These days I suspect it helps in terms of amount of time you are paying for more than one full time in child care.
Helps in terms of employment, in that you aren't taking a year off then immediately taking another year off.

dc2 was almost 3 when dc3 arrived. dc2 was quite impressed. Much more involved thatn between dc1 and dc2 where there is a smaller gap.

We have a 3 year gap, though DS is still a newborn so can’t really comment on what it’s like later on. So far though I’m pleasantly surprised how well dd has taken it, she’s old enough to understand and to help out a bit and is loving being a big sister. One of the biggest benefits for us is that dd will be at school next year by the time ds starts nursery so we won’t overlap in nursery fees.

It's a really lovely age gap. My youngest two are now 2 and 5 and think as thieves. But way easier to manage when at the younger stages than my older ones who were less than 15 months apart!

It's a common age gap where we are in London as nursery costs are so high. I think it's good to have a baby when the older one has some free childcare as you can focus properly on the baby and have more one to one time with them when they need it. Parents tend to treat the dc more as individuals. Lots of families with smaller gaps just put the dcs in the same activities out of convenience but with a bigger gap it's often not possible anyway so you tend to think more about what each child wants.

3 years between our two and it works well.

Ds was out of nappies and was actually able to sit still for two seconds when DD arrived, he had stopped bolting all the time

Thank you so much for these responses, they are confirming what I had hoped! We are based in London so the nursery fee situation will be helpful when it comes to it. By the time DC2 goes to nursery DC1 will be starting school so it feels like a good balance where that is concerned and also just getting time with each child whilst they are little.

3.5 yr gap due to secondary infertility rather than by design. It’s difficult in that now they are teen and tween the age gap is very pronounced (one very much a child, the other could pass as a young adult). My youngest is now 11 and all things considered I would rather they were 2 years apart.

Almost 3 years exactly here. DD was able to dress herself, use the toilet alone (although DS wasn't by 3), climb in her car seat, feed herself etc. She liked babies and liked drawing, reading, stickers so enjoyed helping me or us playing together whilst I fed DS. They are 4 and 7 now and still play well together and we can still find places they both enjoy going to on days out. Now they are older, in some ways I would like them to be closer in age, but I would have found that tough when they were tiny.

Three years and a month between mine. DS(15) and DD(12). Over the years, they've largely been friends, They did both hit puberty at once though! It's been a smelly, moody time!

We're going to have the same thing. Our son will be 3.5 by the time this baby comes due to recurrent miscarriage.

Not an ideal gap in my mind but hopefully it will be ok 🙏🏻

I have that gap. Youngest is now 4 and they play together nicely. From what I’ve seen with DDs friends with an older age gap they get along but don’t play together.

I’m not going to lie it was a shock for DD1 at first. She was vocal that she loved DD2 but would rather she wasn’t there! By 3 they can reliably go to the toilet, dress themselves and grab a snack so practically I imagine it was easier than a smaller age gap.

It's a really common age gap here - 75% of kids in DS1's class had a sibling in DS2's class.

It worked well for us! DS1 wasn't thrilled about DS2's arrival, but they've been best friends for years now.

3 years 2 months between my girls. The age gap so far is brilliant they are 4 and 1 so I don't have advice on after that but the first year has been pretty easy. Baby slotted in easily and toddler was old enough to be patient and know sometimes she will have to wait a couple of minutes for my attention.

Mine are 3 years apart. Currently 5 and 8. They are playing g together right now, in youngest's bedroom. It's a nice gap, not dealing with 2 babies at the same time and when youngest was born, oldest started pre-school for a few hours a week.
I think, whatever the gap, they just get on with it - they don't know any different! There are 8 years between me and next oldest sibling. We weren't close when I was little, but makes no difference now we are older and both have families.

Three years is very much the standard in my circles in London because of the free nursery hours thing. My two are just over three years apart, though four school years. I liked it that I only had one in nappies at a time, didn’t need a double buggy, the older one was able to understand and be fairly helpful with the new baby.