Impulsivity in Child

[Issania87]

So my son is 6 next week. It has been flagged at his school that he struggles with impulsivity (e.g. he regularly shouts out the answers or talks over other people) and he struggles to remember what he should be doing.

They asked if we have spoken to the GP about his impulsivity so they have drafted a letter for us to take when we see them.

I just wondered if anyone had been through this and what happened? We aren't sure if it is ADHD because he can concentrate if he wants to.

We also aren't sure how to deal with the school because on the one hand they are flagging there might be an issue but on the other hand he is regularly getting into trouble and losing his break time privileges because of this

Its a common misconception that children with adhd can't concentrate, but they can. My son is diagnosed with adhd combined type, and the severity is severe, but he can concentrate at times. I'm not entirely sure what the GP will do as my sons school dealt with all of that, and i was under the impression that it is the schools job to put referrals in etc, at least that's what I was told. Perhaps he will give you a questionnaire to fill out and then go from there

He's also 6 and at an age where he is still learning how to behave in social situations. How many times when mine were little, teachers felt they had to bring up every tiny detail. One of my children was singled out as having issues because he refused to write an A4 side of writing. I was then told that he possibly had ASD as he was quiet and happy playing by himself most of the time. Fast forward 13 years and it turns out he can write but is a Scientist and is at university doing a Science degree. He also has lots of friends, some still from the school that said he wasn't sociable. Whilst I agree that any children with issues need to be helped, I think it's important for parents to go with their instincts as from my experience many normal child behaviours are now being deemed a cause for concern. You know your child better than anyone. Ask yourself what do you think of his behaviour and do you think his behaviour is excessively disruptive?

He has always been energetic, but I wouldn't say massively more so than other children of a similar age. He definitely has an issue not talking though, we often joke he learned to talk and then never stopped!

To be honest, we have questioned ADHD ourselves but then have been in situations where he is much calmer and better behaved than other children and so then we aren't sure. I have read books on it, and some things he matches and some things he doesn't.

I do think some of his behaviour in class is because he is bored. He is quite smart, he's already reading at the level of a end of year 2 child (being only 1 term into year 1), so I think he is struggling with being interested in what he is supposed to be doing.

We are going to catch up with his teacher in January and see if we can come up with some things that will work.

I see her perspective, she has a full class to teach and he can't keep being disruptive, but at the same time I think they maybe need to work with him a bit better, maybe he just needs a bit of extra support at this age and he will get better as he grows.

Out of interest @Issania87, what is he like at home? My DS has many ADHD symptoms at home, but school have never mentioned any issues at all. He is in year 4. I’m really not sure if it’s just his personality or ADHD.

I have a child of 9 waiting for an ADHD and ASD assessment. Impulsivity is one of his biggest struggles, especially when angry or excited. He can concentrate but when it is something he enjoys eg Lego, Minecraft.

My adult DS had really severe ADHD as a DC. I was exhausted chasing after him. He was like a whirlwind causing mayhem in his wake. He could sit still for more than 5 minutes. Words came out of his mouth before his brain thought about what he was saying. It often sounded like he was being rude. He just didn't have a filter. He couldn't help it or control it. We tried everything that was suggested but he was failing at school not only academically but socially too. We refused the drugs because we were worried about side effects of low growth. Eventually at high school we had to give in and give him Ritalin at school to avoid him being expelled. We never gave it to him at home at weekends so it didn't affect his growth. He went from the bottom Maths set 5 at 12 up to set 2 over 2 years. We were told he couldn't move up to the top set because he had missed a year of the GCSE work. He did miraculously well in his GCSEs. He refused to stay on for Sixth Form or go to college but he has a decent job as a Class One lorry driver which suits him because every day he is going somewhere different so he doesn't get bored.

My now adult son has ADHD and the main manifestation of it for him was impulsivity he could concentrate at times if it was a subject he was interested in and he wasn’t hyperactive. When kids are assessed for ADHD the questionnaire they used gives points for different behaviours associated with ADHD and kids won’t necessarily score highly on every behaviour. My son was impulsive to an extreme level ( he also has ODD) he felt the overwhelming need to do something/anything and the thought of consequences never came into his mind at that particular moment. He physically hurt himself through impulsive risky behaviour, got into trouble at school many times and even came to the attention of the police. No amount of talking about coping strategies when he was calm ever really had an effect on his thought processes when he was next at a trigger point. Even as an adult he still acts very impulsively and it will probably be a lifetime battle for him.

IMO the school shouldn't be responding in a punitive way, removing privilege or any playtime is very out dated. Your child needs to learn strategies to self regulate but also needs the support of a simple programme of physical exercises, movement outside, sensory diet. The whole approach sounds unhelpful. I'd recommend you look into occupational health strategies to get ideas, wobble cushions and other things may help but personally I'd look for another school with a more child centred approach.

He's okay at home, he mostly follows the rules and I wouldn't say he is overly impulsive at home. He does struggle to control his emotions, but I think that's an age thing.

The main thing we notice is he is a different child when he is by himself, he will happily play quietly and play calm but the minute his sister comes home it's like a switch flips in his head and he's just silly and noisy and all over the place