14 month old & the horror of split nights…

[ecossegirl91]

I have a 14 m old who for the last 3.5months or so has been treating us to the delight of split nights near enough every night and I’m so so tired. Always awake for around 2 hours during the night from either 1,2 or 3 am 🥲 we’ve tried tweaking the day naps but nothing is working!
started around 11m (when they started walking) so I put it down to that but here we are! Back when it started at 11m he was on 2 naps and in no way ready to transition to one (I think we are in the midst of the transition now at 14m but we have a mix of 1 and 2 nap days depending on wake up and overnight sleep)
at 12m started nursery 3 x per week where they do one nap and he does between 1.5-2hrs a nap, usually nearer 1.5 so on those days we do an earlier bed to compensate.

on the days at home i aim for a 2 nap day usually as follows
6.30 wake
9.30 to 10.15 nap (I wake)
1.30 to 3 nap
bed around 7.30

we still have split nights. I’ve tried not waking him from the morning and letting him sleep, still split nights.

on days he wakes at 7.30 due to be tired from the split night we do a one nap day usually from 12-2/2.30 but sometimes he decides to wake after 1.5 and won’t go back to sleep so again and early bed to compensate

we had a week at the start of December there where he done 7 nights in a row of 7pm to 6am and we thought it was over but alas, ‘twas not ☹️☹️ any advice?

he’s definitely not a 12 hour a night baby, more 10.5-11. So with 2 hours of day sleep he’s getting 13 hours in 24 which I think sounds right but maybe not?!

I feel your pain, my DD did split nights every single night for an entire year from 9m to 21m. DH and I use to alternate who got up with her. She sleeps through a bit more now but when she does wake up (and she seems to stir quite easily), she’s still up for anywhere between 2-5hrs.

We tried EVERYTHING and I’m sorry to say, nothing seemed to work. What I will say though, is don’t get in to any bad habits! We started giving her a bottle and sitting in with her when she woke and I think that made it go on for longer - we eventually phased the bottle out and managed to get out of the room again and that’s when they stopped. Her sleep has gone to pot again now (33m) and we have to be back in with her again for her to go to sleep and are being treated to frequent wake ups (we’re working on it) but that’s a result of her baby sister arriving and her dropping her nap, I think.

Good luck, split nights are absolutely soul destroying, I hope they end soon for you 🙏🏼

My youngest was like this. The only thing that worked for us was making sure he got enough daytime sleep. Our day to day routine could not vary one bit as it threw his sleep off!
He's 3 now and sleeps 12 hours. It does get better!

In the midst of another split night, he’s been up since midnight 🥲 thought the day routine was solid too, it’s soul destroying!

today he was up at 6.20, had 45 mins at 9am then 1.5 hours at 1.30 till 3 then sleeping at 7.45pm. Only to wake at 12am…. Then he’s not going to get enough night sleep and the cycle continues…..

How are you settling him during the time awake? Patting? Light on? Do you give him a bottle?

Light off, will always resist giving a bottle if I can, I offer water. Even if I’ve caved and offer milk it doesn’t shorten the wake time.
if he’s not crying or shouting out for attention I try to leave him in his room in the cot to see if he can work it out himself. Failing that I go in and cuddle him whilst patting.

I'd stop adjusting the day routine to compensate for missed sleep at night. Stick to the same timings each day. One nap should be enough by now so decide when you want that - probably when he has a nap at nursery so it's the same.

feel your pain, split naps are so tiring! I’d say the worst nights have been our split nights.

Everytime ours had a split night it was a sign she was sleeping too much. It might be that they just need a little less sleep in the day? Some babies don’t need as much as others. Or you can try inching bed time later by 15 mins at a time (this was hard for us, she was going to bed at 8 and I needed any time after that!)

FWIW, she’s now 26 months and sleeping so much better, so it does pass.

The only other thing is to make life as easy as you can while you’re suffering split nights. Be gentle on yourself, give yourself what you need in terms of time and food and rest and allowances for snappiness!

So so tiring! 🙈
he woke at 7.15 this morning and I managed to give lunch at 11.30 then he went down for a nap at 12 and he’s currently still snoozing. Will go wake shortly… I do hate waking him from naps as I feel I spend my life trying to make him sleep at night 😂

As I typed this he just awoke naturally so he’s probably had around 2hr 45m in total.

hopefullt it’s not too much day sleep and I’m going with the whole slew begets sleep thing…. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

so I’m thinking what that wake up time of around 2.40om then it’s asleep by half 7?

Does he self-settle for naps and bedtime? Not feeding to sleep/patted at bedtime or anything like that?

He’s not fed to sleep, but he is held until drowsy then popped in to the cot, where he rolls on to him tummy and strokes his ear till he falls asleep 😂 can’t pop him down fully awake but only takes 5-10 mins of being held to go down

14 months is on the later side to still be on 2 naps isn’t it? Could be possible that total sleep needs are tapping out, then it’s a vicious cycle of needing the day sleep to compensate for what was missing at night, then consequently not needing it overnight. I think that’s more likely than sleep begets sleep now you’re into the toddler years anyway. My eldest DC moved into the young toddler room daycare at 15 months and it was strictly one nap at 1-3pm because that’s typical of what they need at that age. My
youngest wasn’t at nursery at that age so wasn’t as regimented but over 1 and never had split nights but we found that we’d always get a night wake if he had a second nap (couldn’t always avoid as he loved a stroller or car nap) so I think there’s a link.

Very possibly - the first nap if he has one is usually a Power Nap to get him thru to lunchtime as some days he’s just too tired. He’s on one nap when he’s at nursery 3 x per week.
oh I didn’t realise it was early - everything I read online said 13-18 months for dropping to one nap - there’s perhaps too much info online!! 🙈

Both mine dropped all naps by 18 months! Definitely only 1 nap at that age.

He has a mix of one and 2 nap days, kinda depends when he wakes. But assume it’ll be one more and more often than not. He only done one today.

he was asleep for 8pm last night and no split night yay - but he did wake at 5am to start the day and nothing would get him back to sleep ☹️ it will need to be a 2 nap day today as no way he’s making it till lunch 🙈

Some stuff that helped us-

Stopping offering milk
Weaning off dummy
Teaching baby to fall asleep with no assistance
Dropping naps

Mine did 2 naps til around 2 years old. I think it was 9-10 and 1-3. But he did sleep better after we dropped one

We used a sleep consultant for this issue when our child was almost 2, so a little older. The advice was they’re having too much daytime sleep so when they rouse in the early hours there isn’t enough sleep pressure to fall back to sleep. We cut the nap to one hour and it worked a charm and totally solved the problem (until the nap got dropped entirely a few months later but that’s a different story!)

Good luck. Split nights are genuinely horrendous.

@ecossegirl91 my 15 month old still does 2 naps because he only has 30mins for 1st one and 45-1hr at second. He was the worst sleeper for the first 13/14 months but has finally started sleeping through for 11hrs at night. I know it's a pain but he will get there, sounds to me like you're doing everything right. Some babies just don't do the whole really long nap thing. And you are right that they can still nap twice Upto 18 months

None of our 3 do this because they hate day naps. Worked it out with first and our next 3 little ones twins and a single if they have any nap they will be up late. The only time they nap is if there ill. Other than that they wake between 8am and 9 and sleep from6-6:30pm all night so I'm not complaining

@Devilsmommy thank you for your msg! I know he’ll get there eventually with doing one nap every day but I definitely thought when they done the 2-1 nap transition it wasn’t just a one day they do it and that’s it and there’s a transition period until they can make it to lunch time comfortably. If he wakes after 7am a one nap day is feasible Altho he’s so tired for lunch 🤪 but he needs a good lunch to ensure a good nap and any awake pre 7am he just will not make it! I assume as he gets older he will tolerate the longer awake period easier. As he’ll have a lil 30 min Power Nap this morning I’m aiming for a 12.30-2pm afternoon sleep and a 7ish bedtime

@ecossegirl91 how did you get on? My LG is 13 months and has just started split nights again and they are slowing killing me off… she used to do it at about 10m but stopped and was sleeping for 11/12 hours each night until this past week!

Our split nights went on from 12-17m and then stopped, and they haven’t come back - touch wood 🙏🏻🙏🏻 he’s 2.3 now. He got used to his one nap a day and then we were quite strict with get up and bed times. If bedtime started to creep later we just cut the nap down, he only does 30/40mjns now and sleeps 8/8.30-7am x