Tips for 9 week old sleep?!

[GemstoneCF]

DD is 9 weeks old and hasn’t slept for longer than 1-2 hours at a time in her cot since birth, specifically at night (has done an occasional 3 hour stint in her Moses basket in the daytime). We’ve had a particularly difficult 9 weeks personally, DH got made redundant, DD had some digestion issues early on so in and out of GP & hospital appts, all three of us got covid before Christmas and I’ve had mastitis multiple times and referred to breast clinic for a lump (fortunately nothing to worry about) so I am physically and emotionally quite broken with the combination of getting barely any sleep.

of course totally understand that she is tiny and can’t have much of a routine at this point, but I wondered if anyone had any tips or similar experiences they could share. I’m doing all the usual things to get her off to sleep, white noise, rocking, singing, letting her sleep on me til she’s in a deep sleep then trying to put her down, but she wakes up crying as soon as I put her down, apart from some occasional short stints.

When she had covid she was super bunged up and couldn’t breathe well through nose either so DH and I basically slept in shifts and let her sleep upright on our chests while we stayed awake while she got better, but she now won’t sleep any other way and we are both exhausted.

Again, know she is really young and sleep isn’t easy at this time but my other friends’ babies seem to be sleeping a lot better than this and I don’t know if I’m doing anything wrong 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Any help / handholding / advice much appreciated - and please no mean comments, I’m already feeling rubbish as is 🤣😭.

My babies were both like this. I co-sleep and breastfeed so I get some sleep. 1 year old wakes multiple times per night still but I can pop him on lying down and then go back to sleep quite quickly. Obviously I follow safe co-sleeping practises. DH takes him from 6am-8 am so I can sleep a bit.

Not for everyone but some babies are just high needs, bad sleepers. Don't think I'd have survived mine without co-sleeping lol. They always wake up if I try to put them down in cot. It's nothing you're doing wrong.

I used to care for my younger siblings a lot and they would have slept through a bomb going off, but mine wake up at the least noise. DH's rubbish genes lol

oops hit send. You have all my sympathies. My sister had a baby a month before me and hers (also breastfed, so it's not that) slept six straight hours in her cot right from the start. I can't even imagine it.

I've noticed mine going longer stretches from 3 months or so - I know it seems like that's forever but hang in there. It will get better.

Thanks for responding! Honestly it’s so exhausting I can barely think straight 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️. How old were your babies when you started co-sleeping? I’m quite nervous about trying it but might have to at this rate!!

You poor, poor thing. That's an awful lot to cope with in the last few weeks. All that and no sleep too, no wonder you're struggling bless you.

Nearly all tiny babies want to sleep on their parents. It's natural and instinctive. They need to know they are safe and cared for and the minute you put them down, to them it's as if they've been abandoned entirely. (this will change! you WILL get sleep again.)

With my first, I fought it and did the whole 'return to cot multiple times' thing. I remember the first six months as a stressful, even horrible, time. The second, a few years later, I didn't even try. I co-slept from the start. It was a much happier experience all round! I hardly woke to feed, and didn't change wet nappies in the night (after all, you won't change a wet nappy in the night once they start sleeping through.)

I think it's the only way to get more sleep, until she matures and gradually learns that her cot is a lovely safe snuggly place to sleep in, and it WILL happen at some point.

@ApplesinmyPocket thanks so much for responding, I really appreciate it. Do you have any co-sleeping tips? I’m really nervous about it so just interested to hear how others have done it. Did you put baby in a sleep sack next to you? Thanks so much in advance and for your kind message x

Personally, I don't think white noise is the best choice for a lot of babies/people. It actually causes anxiety and sleep disruption for some. I would try a more natural sound like brown noise or soft thunderstorm sounds and see if that makes a difference.

Poor you @GemstoneCF it’s exhausting.

Swaddling worked well for mine. They seemed the need the ‘weight’ and pressure of the swaddle blanket.

@Aquamarine1029 thank you I’ll try it for sure

@solsticelove thank you, I have tried it when she was a few weeks old but I think I’ll try again to see if it makes a difference again!