Is a summer due date a good idea?

[bexboz]

We are deciding when the best time to TTC for baby number 2. For a lot of logistical reasons it looks like we would be TTC in September 2024. Obviously we have very little control over when I'd actually get pregnant but it would mean we could have babies due in June, July and August...

There is a lot of dyslexia in my family and family members who struggled in school as kids. They all turned out fine and achieved whatever they wanted but had a tough time at school and low confidence as a result. A lot of them were also summer babies and so they were young for their year.

I'd like to hear from adults with summer birthdays and parents of school aged kids born in summer... do you think they are more likely to struggle?

I don't THINK this sort of thing would really change our plans as I'm super keen for number 2 and don't want to wait any longer than necessary. It's just been on my mind and I would like other's opinions. Thanks!

Ps I'm less worried about the heat, we live in a cool climate!

My first born is a summer born (mid-July birthday) and just started school this September. He started showing very little interest in letters/sounds but is coming on leaps and bounds and seems to have settled in great! So no issues at all for us.

I was also surprised to see how many other summer borns there are in his class (at least a handful of them) so he's not the only one and I think that helps. The gap lessens with summer borns as they get older too and if you're really concerned when they are coming up to school age, you'd be able to defer. And, I'm
sure you already know this, but kids aren't cut from the same cloth and while a summer both might be a high flyer, an early autumn born might really struggle.

Personally I think TTC is a hard process and you should start when you feel ready. Delaying things to regulate birthdays might not work out in the end anyway: it could take a lot longer than anticipated, there could be losses along the way or early inductions (all of which happened to me when TTC DS2).

I am a summer born and both my children are summer born (June) I hate it that some people write off the ability of a child purely because of their birthday. I wonder if anyone has every done a study into the success of those winter born babies as a comparison. It almost feels like a self fulfilling prophecy.

My eldest child achieved pretty much all 9s at GCSE, 4 A stars at A level and attended a top ten university for a STEM subject, his brother is on the same path. I would say at the end of primary school my eldest was literally average, predicted 4s or 5s for GCSE so it just goes to show that educational progression is not linear and predicting a child from aged 10 or 11 is nonsense.

A million things play into the academic success of a child and parental input is one, are they the oldest, youngest, in a large family, only child, have a parent with an illness, death of a parent, death of a pet, is the child resiliant, are they motivated, do they do their homework, spellings, times tables, attitude of their parents to say maths, if I had a pound for every time some parent proudly declared they hate maths and were rubbish at it in front of not only primary teachers but their own children I would be very wealthy. It almost gives the child an excuse to not try.

Anecdotally there is a primary school somewhere down south in England whose CAT scores are incredibly high for pretty much every pupil. Now is it something in the water? DNA? Or just commited teachers and parents ensuring the best for a child. Foster a love of learning, curiosity, spend time with your children, feed into their interests. I know a child who struggles with their times tables and yet can name a lot of Pokemon evolutions so not a memory issues and no there is no underlying SEN. Learning isn't always fun, the sooner children know that the better, just like adulthood isn't always fun either.

Dd1 is August. Poor thing had no clue what was happening to her when I left her at pre school nursery and school.

Dd2 is May. DH June and I'm July.

It took ten times longer for me to conceive my second child than my first so I lean towards trying as soon as possible. However with your family history of dyslexia if you did have a Summer baby it could be you will need to think about deferring reception entry. I know a Summer born child with dyslexia who's parents really should have looked at deferring - the child couldn't talk well on reception entry and can't read in year 2. I'm Summer born and was fine a academically, my firstborn was ready for school over a year before she started so a Summer birthday would have been better to make her more level with her class.

My birthday is 31/08 - a day later and I would have been in the year below. My mum always said it was difficult in the earlier years because I was expected to reach the same standards as kids a year older than me but it didn't make a difference by the time I finished school. I got 3 A's, 5 B's and 2 C's at GCSE which, in the nicest way possible, was quite a bit higher than some of my friends who were much older.

The most important thing to remember is just because you want to TTC and conceive in a certain month for a certain birth year, it doesn't always happen that way. It took us 6 months to conceive DD, she has a feb birthday, DS has an April birthday and they're both progressing at their own fabulous rates 🥰 birthday doesn't affect intelligence, if they're capable of learning they will learn

By the time we were ready to try for our DC2 they would have been born in July if we’d conceived first time (as we had for dc1). So we waited 2 months to avoid the summer birthday, and in conceived cycle 2 so she was born late October.

Im so happy we waited. DC1 is May born and I can already see that DC2 is going to be so much more ready for school than DC1 was. There is also a massive difference in reception and year 1 between the older and younger ones in the class. DC1 was frustrated he wasn’t as good at writing and drawing as his Nov born friend. Yes the differences may even out later but attitudes to learning and self esteem are formed by then.

Only you know your age and precious fertility experience to gauge whether waiting a month or two might make a difference.

*previous not precious!

I really, really wouldn’t worry about it. Like you said, fate is not really in your hands because you could very easily get an autumn baby despite trying in summer. Also you can defer a year if that’s your preference. Start when you’re ready to start.

Took one go the first time and 18 months of trying then ivf the second time 🤷‍♀️ honestly you just can’t tell.

Might be worth having a look to see how easy it would be to delay a summer born starting school until they are 5. From what I understand, it is easier in some areas and harder in other areas.

Yeah but it’s an indication - what you’ve described is unusual. And the outcome wouldn’t have been affected by a month or 2 either way.

Just start TTC when you are ready to.

Your child may not have dyslexia. You may not conceive for ages. Your child could have some unexpected diagnosis even if born at the 'right' time.

You can't control things, really.

My summer born baby will start reception just after she turns 5. There is a facebook page where you can ask how difficult it is in your area. For me it was a little faffy eg paper application rather than online and I had to send a few emails first, but nothing too demanding.

There are all sorts of advantages and disadvantages to being born in different months of the year. Some of which are a disadvantage at one stage of your life and really appreciated at different times of your life.

Do not get bogged down in this.
Getting pregnant is not really something most couples can plan to this extent. For some it happens straight away, of others it takes a lot longer.
Just stop your contraceptive and see what happens.

Summer born children, especially boys, do often have a slower start at school as a year age difference between 4-5 is really quite significant. This gap lessons in significance though as they get older and there's always the option to defer.

I tried to avoid an August baby but baby number two took 15 months to conceive and by that point I'd have been happy with any birthday!

If you are aug born you have to be 11m ahead to be 'top' but wouldnt be as some sept borns will also be ahead.my SB eldest was very ahead up to y4 say at reading but i think comprehension dropped her down. Behind in maths till y5 where i made huge effort and shes ended up top 10%. However that then depended on the secondary - ours has a lot of high maths marks so putting her exceeding at maths down. Notably all her antenatal group are in the same set!.
Because theyve filled set 1 with the winter born kids.
Being eldest gives extra time to want to read chapter books etc..

My August baby is in their final year of a medicine degree, was always in the top 5% at school and in the gifted and talented cohort. They didn't have their school year delayed so some of their classmates were almost a year older than them.

I think a child will get through on their own merits, no matter when they're born.

The government’s own analysis of results shows that on average summer born children don’t do as well academically as September born students all the way up to and including in A levels.

There will always be outliners in every data set.

My summer born, neurodivergent DS is home from his first term at uni. He was awarded a scholarship based on an entrance exam.

The processing difficulties have been a greater issue than the birth date to be honest. Even those can be overcome with support- he had a spellchecker and grammar checker for A Levels.

The only person who’s ever mentioned his birth date is my mum, she said a couple of teachers should have timed things better 😂

The advantage of a summer birthday is that it's nicely far away from Christmas. The disadvantages are that school is more likely to be problematic and it's rubbish for birthday parties because people go on holiday.
If I could wave a magic wand and give my kids autumn birthdays I'd do it in a heartbeat.

For me the positives are birthdays that are spaced apart from Christmas and can have parties in the garden and not paying for the best part of a year additional childcare fees.

Negatives are may find the early years of school harder as they’re that much younger. I always think spring seems like a good time.

I have an August born. I had pregnancy sickness all the way through pregnancy and it was a lot hard in the third trimester due to the heat even though the sickness was worse in the first trimester.

We have just applied for schools and have no concerns about her starting school even though she is 1st percentile and is going to be tiny compared to the rest of the class being the size of a 2 year old. She thrives with older children. She skipped a room at nursery so has been with her cohort for school since she turned 2 as she got upset when some of her friends moved up a room. I have asked every school how they help the young and small ones adapt to school and this was a big factor in our rankings of the school.

I was Dec born and my best friend was Aug born and we matched each other right the way from reception to A levels. My sister is October born and struggled in reception as it wasn't challenging enough and the teachers had to assign her twice the amount of work that they gave the rest of the class to slow her down in the race to get to free play. My mum had a hard time in her preschool year as she was absolutely ready for school at 4 and was hard to give the adequate stimulation too. She settle close at top of the middle in the class by the time she was at secondary school.

My cousin deferred her son's intake solely in him being 4. He's now a very tall 8 year old in a class of 7-8 year olds and there have been issues with his physicality in PE and other parents not wanting their child to play with the "older" kid.

It is really hard to give generalisations as it's so child specific. I think there are challenges associated with being the first and the last in the year and for some children it's more obvious than others. I have a PhD and my friends birthdays from my course cover the whole year fairly evenly.

One of my dc (now 18) has a late August birthday. It never caused any problems. She was ready to start school at 4, did really well throughout and is now at a very good university.

If this is true it’s ridiculous. There are tall September born kids in every class in every school and I have literally never heard of parents not wanting their child to play with the older kids in a class. Find it very hard to believe that parents or kids would know or make a distinction between children born in august vs September. If his behaviour isn’t good that is nothing to do with his age or size.

My son is in year 1 and all the kids are desperate to be older. He is May born so far from the youngest but all of his friends have already turned 6 and he is so annoyed to still be 5.

I have an August Baby.

I have a June Bday and have ASD, Dyslexia and ADHD all diagnosed as an adult. i massively struggled at school and will be delaying DD by a year to start school.