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Toddler Sleep regression / separation anxiety / something else?

8 replies

VickyPell22 · 29/12/2023 10:32

Anyone else’s toddler not settling on their own at bedtime anymore? We have a 21 month old who for months we have been able to do our bedtime routine of bath, stories, milk, into cot and leave the room and he falls asleep on his own but for the last few weeks out of nowhere he will no longer settle on his own anymore, he will only sleep if rocked to sleep, I have tried to let him CIO but he just stands up crying he will not lay down, if he was atleast laying down I think he would go to sleep but he gets so exhausted he’s resting his head against the cot and then gets more frustrated and upset, as soon as me or my husband go into the room he stops crying so I know it’s not anything else and must be a separation anxiety thing! I just don’t know what to do for the best, really want to get back to him self settling but don’t know how to do it without creating bad habits!! Anyone been through this or have any advise? He usually has 1 nap a day although have to take him out in the car or pushchair now as won’t sleep in his cot if we put him down but I think he does estill need to nap, although if he doesn’t nap he still used to go to bed fine it’s never affected his nighttime sleep whatever he’s had in the day! Just at a loss of what’s going on and how to fix it! Sorry for the rambling message 🙈

OP posts:
UnravellingTheWorld · 29/12/2023 18:07

This happened to us at 22 months, and like you I forced a buggy nap because I was convinced he wasn't ready to go without. I remain convinced that it was the 2 year sleep regression. Trust your instincts; you know your child better than anyone.

It lasted a couple of weeks for us, then all was normal again. My only advice is stay consistent with your routine.

Two months later mine started to drop his nap for real, but it was a totally different experience to the regression.

VickyPell22 · 29/12/2023 19:59

Hi, thanks for your reply! This has already been going on nearly 3 weeks now and definitely isn’t getting any better! We keep the routine the same as in bath, bottle and then bed but usually he would just go to sleep but unsure what to do as he is standing at his cot crying and will not lay down at all! So hard to know what to do without creating bad habits! I’m glad it only lasted a few weeks for you and praying this is a phase that quickly passes for us too! 🙏

OP posts:
24HoursFromTulseHill · 30/12/2023 21:00

Uurgh, going through the same thing at the moment with my 21 month old DS.
We tried to keep his routine constant whilst visiting family at Christmas but for the past 3 nights he's taken ages to go down for naps and night time sleep. He used to settle himself to sleep but I've had to go in a few times and he stops crying as soon as I enter the room and starts again as soon as I leave.
We're already doing a dose of nurofen 30 mins before bed incase it's his last 4 molars - gums are white and he's chewing on stuff a lot.
I'll try riding it out and being consistent with the routine incase it's another regression but if it goes on for a few weeks I'll look at maybe getting a night light or changing up our timings a bit.

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MumBel22 · 01/01/2024 20:37

Could have wrote this myself! 22mo amazing sleeper/napper from no age! All of a sudden she is waking in the middle of the night and screaming once we leave the room! Also not wanting to go into the cot at bedtime! We have the same solid routine from she was 4 months old but this has all changed literally overnight! Any help is welcome! Currently pregnant with no2 and the lack of sleep is driving me mad x

Anon3219 · 02/04/2024 04:15

Anyone through the other side?! Currently going through this with my 22mo. Feel like we’ve had 3-4weeks of this but initially started with poor sleep from a vomiting bug and then a really bad cough/cold. Now she doesn’t like going to sleep alone and wakes multiple times throughout night. Pregnant too so lack of sleep is the worst right now! Please tell me it gets better!

Anyday · 02/04/2024 04:40

We had this pretty sure our approach was to just keep góng in and being boringly repetitive if stood up, 'night night time love you' lay back down, leave the room (even if they got straight back up again) then after a couple of times just lay down no talking,

If you genuinely know there is nothing else going on ie. Needs nappy change, Ill or teething then just try and make sure you aren't giving too much attention or reaction, just enough reassurance that you are there and will keep coming back, but other than that it's not fun time or cuddle time or extra milk or snack time, it's sleep time!

We had a 'if lying down don't go in' rule. It could take several nights and many lay downs but just be consistent and don't cave! And don't drastically change the previous routine that has worked, it will work again maybe with minor tweaks!

If they don't already have a special bedtime toy, that can be really beneficial, 'bear will look after you' or similar

It definitely did pass and now they are 4.5 and so very rarely wakes in the night but still sleeps with bear every night! Good luck

Libra152 · 15/07/2024 19:39

Hi, am in the same place with my 22 month old, just wondering if got easier for the OP and any advice ? Need some hope it's gets better 😅 TIA 🙂

Hazzyyy · 21/05/2025 16:12

Hello, going through the same atm and it's so stressful!! How long did it last? Thanks

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