Getting myself back: where do I start?

[NotAnotherNYResolution]

I want to make some changes to my lifestyle but feeling a bit overwhelmed about where to begin - can you help?

I have one very lovely DC who’s almost 2. Parenting’s not come easy for me but I’m a good toddler mum and enjoying this stage. DC is happily settled in nursery 4 days a week, with me the other day. Sleeps well, eats well, is a normal, happy toddler.

I feel like I have the opportunity to give myself a bit more attention now, as I definitely haven’t been doing for the last 2 years! I just don’t know where to begin:

Diet - I don’t eat well, live off quick food like toast during the day and then have a proper dinner in the evening. I’m not overweight but I’m heavier than I’d like and don’t feel healthy.

Exercise - currently non-existent bar toddler wrangling. I don’t enjoy exercising, but I enjoy the feeling afterward. And again I don’t feel healthy as I am. Local council gym isn’t particularly easy to get to - 30 min walk or 15 min cycle, no bus.

Style - I used to enjoy clothes and looking well presented, now I regularly look an unshowered, make up less mess in loungewear!

Hobbies - I don’t have any and would like one, but nothing jumps out.

Relationship - I have a great DP who is a very good co-parent, we split things not 50/50 but a lot better than many couples. However, our relationship is still adjusting to a small dictator taking precedent and we’re not always as patient or connected to one another as we could be.

Job - I enjoy my job, I do it 4 days a week, I’m in a management role but I don’t find it stressful. I do feel like I’m not progressing, but equally maybe I don’t care enough right now.

Usual issues - time, money, feeling tired and unmotivated, guilty about landing DP with extra childcare if I go out… so where should I start?

Actually sounds like you’re doing pretty well to me!
Embrace loungewear and treat yourself to some nice stuff! I also try to wear something ‘proper’ on the weekend rather than the usual leggings!
Meals, I prep veg/chicken wraps/ salad or make a soup the night before for lunch to keep it healthy. Snacks are fruit, chocolate rice cakes. Just don’t buy crap, otherwise I will eat it!
On days I wfh I try block out time to exercise in my lunch break - swim or YouTube video. I pick one eve a week for me to go to the gym or for a run. DP has his evenings to exercise too. I also walk to/from the nursery drop offs.
I don’t have time for hobbies, and honestly cba. I am an avid reader so I do make sure I try read before bed and listen to audiobooks when I’m pottering. I hope I can think about a hobby at some point but actually I enjoy crafting/baking with the toddler so that’ll have to do for now!

Following, it might give me a kick up the bum to do this also

@Whatisityoucantface this is exactly the kind of answer I was hoping for, practical and lots of great ideas. Thank you!

On style, I'd recommend watching some videos on capsule wardrobes - MM personal styling on YouTube is a good account, and combines genuinely stylish but practical ideas. General idea is to buy good quality basics and you can also enhance with jewellery or nice make up.

I don’t think it’s realistic to ‘transform’ every aspect of your life in the way you have presented it. You have a small child and I agree it sounds like you are doing pretty well! Focus on one or two areas that will make a difference, eg getting more exercise and maybe making time for you and DH to spend together once in a while.

Personally I wouldn’t worry too much about progressing at work, it sounds as though you have a pretty good job already and things can get a bit tricky when you start having to factor in school (but then I’m not a hugely ambitious person!).

Running op!

And get some new makeup

treat yourself

Haven’t RTFT but I bought a treadmill off Amazon last year for around £120 - game changer in terms of being able to fit steps in around kids and life!

Start small.
Do a lucy Wyndham reid 7 min workout every morning for example
Make your bed every day
Little things like this become routine but add up.
If you're not a great cook from scratch already make a plan to learn a recipe every week that can be a family dinner on a regular basis. There's loads of really useful quick easy ones like thai curry or risotto or cottage pie. Once you're confident with that you can start meal planning and shopping for that plan every week. You soon find it takes no more time than fish fingers or other processed foods (not that you have to cut them out)

Sounds like you’re doing well - so change things only if you want to. Don’t feel guilty or like you’re not up to speed.

things that help me:

• an evening a week for an exercise class (DH has his time too so neither of us feel guilty about this - also I’m the one who gave birth etc so have more need to re establish strength)
• Lipstick
• batch cooking recipes with lots of veg and fibre for my packed lunches days I work - I started doing this to save time but it’s become self care and a way to eat things I like that the kids find too spicy
• a kindle

My tip is 1% better each day. Make 1 day a week meat free so you've to be incentive. Or make Friday new recipe day. Forget about a 30 min walk to gym, just get out and walk. Listen to some podcasts that will help make you determined to change or just listen to funny and filthy ones you couldn't listen to around little ears (shagged, married, annoyed; my therapist ghosted me).
Buy some nice combat style trousers so you've comfort of gym gear but smartness of jeans.
But you sound like you're doing great for the mum of a 2 year old.

Thank you all for the replies, really appreciate the great suggestions and ideas - let’s do this! 💪