How did nursery change life for you and your little one?

[Bambinobaby]

I have a super high needs baby that will be just over 14 months when she starts nursery 5 mornings a week for 4 hour sessions. I’ve been told by copious people that she will develop considerably faster being around key workers and children, but I’m wondering if that is true or just a natural age to start progressing?

Equally, how did the small break feel for you? I’m really really struggling with my mental health and honestly need a break but I will be working the entire time she’s at nursery (and some thereafter during her nap when she gets home!!). Hoping to hear that even a few hours in the morning will make me feel like an actual person again!

I have no idea how people are stay at home parents, I would not be in a good place with the relentlessness of it.

Nursery means that the times I with my kids is much more enjoyable and special because it’s not a 24/7 continual experience with no variation.

Work will be a god sent. from a fellow mum of a high needs baby. And I work in the NHS which is a fucking binfire making life-changing decisions which pre-baby was so stressful and to me now it feels like a break. I am so busy at work I forget I have a child sometimes and, it sounds awful, but I feel human again. I’ve completely lost any identity when with my toddler except for being exhausted and depressed mum.

Will you be sharing drop offs and pick ups? Will you have a commute between work and nursery?

Managing to build in breaks/respite in and about nursery will help make it less stressful. If possible don't rush from one to other etc.

The relationship with your child's key worker can be a huge support. Making sure the ethos and approach of the nursery is very important.

It felt absolutely amazing having some respite. As with a PP, I simply don't know how stay at home parents manage to do it. It really does feel like a break at times.

And it was good for both my DC too. Their language and social skills have blossomed since going to nursery. Especially DC1 who was a late talker, and was very shy. She's 4 now, and that is far from the case. Also, all the activities, art work and messy play they get to do far outstrips what I would ever be willing to do. DC1 is heading to school next year, and we're going to be sad to leave what has been such an important part of her life behind.

The first month was awful. I felt so guilty. I have no idea why. After that it was fine. LO got in really well and made friends and they met her development needs much better than I could. In the end I wished I'd put her in a bit sooner!

Aw op I can hear the mixed feelings in your post.

I desperately didn’t want to go back after either of mine (now 3 and 1) but as a pp said, I have the highest respect for SAHM because it’s soooo nice to have a break, even at work (also high stress NHS role) - if I need the loo…I just go, no need to think about where little one(s) is up to or any chaos they could cause, I can eat much lunch without sharing or picking spoons up off the floor 573 times.

working 100% has made me a better parent as on the weekends I don’t get as frustrated by constant spoon picking, gladly share my lunch and don’t mind a full enterage every trip to the loo.

yea the first few drop offs are sad/feels strange, but seeing them try new things and do so much “art” and excitedly bring home creations is fab.

I’ve been told by copious people that she will develop considerably faster being around key workers and children, but I’m wondering if that is true or just a natural age to start progressing?

If you take your children to playgroups and playgrounds and she sees you having relationships with your friends and family then I don’t think nursery is necessary for progression. For us it became ‘necessary’ at about age 2.5-3 when we couldn’t facilitate DS playing regularly with other children, not just next to them. I’ve put necessary in inverted commas as obviously we needed it from 1 year old, when I went back to work. But developmentally, I’m not sure it switched from neutral to beneficial until over 2.

Equally, how did the small break feel for you?

Good, I also had a very high needs baby, I love my job and I couldn’t wait to get back to work part time. In your situation I’d probably stretch one day to a full day to have some time to myself as well.

Mine went pt at four and five months. It saved my mental health. We had no family help and although I was at work whilst they were there it was the only break we ever got. I think I would have gone under without it.
It may not have been beneficial for them (absolutely was as they got older) but for the person running the show it was for me.
They are 20 and 18 now. Both off at uni and all bonded just fine.
And my pension looks great.

So I have no village to help and I can’t afford for her to go any more hours as it’s already costing me the best part of a grand a month for the part time hours. The type of job I do requires me to be available Monday to Friday, so shortening my days and sending her in mornings was the best compromise as opposed to doing a few long days.

I haven’t had a break since she was born and I’m absolutely exhausted so I’m really looking forward to it. Not sure how I’m going to manage working whilst still waking 3-6 times a night but that’s a problem for when I go back.

You will manage work despite the tiredness, it’s weird. I’m someone who really struggles on less than 7 hours a night but now I have my little girl I’m buzzed and don’t feel tired in the same way as before.

My little girl has just been singing me songs they do at nursery and we get a video summary every day of what they have been up to so we watch it together with a snack and she tells me their names 😍