2.5 year old never wants to do anything

[PlumpShady]

Hi. I have an almost 2.5 year old DD. We try to make sure that we get out and about most days, as well as giving her chill time at home with her toys but recently everytime we go anywhere she just refuses to play/walk and says she wants to go home.

Yesterday we went swimming which she has always loved and she lasted about 10 minutes before she just clung on to me saying ‘we go home’. So we did. I can’t take her to the supermarket anymore without her getting frustrated and trying to climb out the trolley halfway round. We have a dog that needs a walk but she refuses to, even if she’s in her pushchair she just cries and says she wants to go home. All over Christmas when we were at relatives houses she kept saying she wanted to go home.

This morning I lost my patience - we came to a woodland walk type place with a playground, DH took her to the park while I walked in the woods with the dog and 10 mins in he messaged me saying she wanted to go home so they were sat in the car. I told him it was ridiculous to keep pandering to it and sometimes she has to get out and do things. She’s 2, she doesn’t get to dictate that we stay home all the time!

Shes not back in nursery for another week and I’m shuddering at the thought of spending it sitting indoors doing nothing.

am I expecting too much of her here? Anyone else have a toddler like this?

part of me just feels really sad for her as she misses out on so much!

How long has it been happening for, the phase might pass perhaps she’s finding everything overwhelming at the moment.

How many days is she in nursery? She may be just want the security, familiarity and rest of being home if she does nursery 3+ days per week. As good as it is to get out with the dog, etc, she will learn and come on so much just pottering at home. Start dragging her out if she's watching endless telly, but if it's playing and 'helping you then what's the harm?

It's been like this for at least the last month I'd say. We never got out one evening to see the streets all lit up for Christmas like we had planned because she said no each time we tried.

She's only in nursery 2 x per week, the rest it's at home with one of us or my mum.

She does like pottering around with me, 'helping' with chores etc which I'm fine with but she's also not the best at playing by herself so often she is trying to drag me off to play tea parties or something hint with her so I can't get a lot done!

She's honestly the loveliest, kindest little girl but I just worry we are setting her up for failure by letting her tell us what to do all the time.

It sounds like there is anxiety at the root of this. My son who was later diagnosed with ASD always wanted to go home. I’m not saying this is what it is but I’d me mindful of any other anxieties. I’d meet her half way at least, by letting her know exactly where you are going, how long you will be there, then home. So she knows in advance.

Could she be cold or uncomfortable ?

It sounds to me that, for whatever reason, she isn't coping well when you go out. Perhaps it's anxiety, perhaps it's just a phase. How is she at nursery? Unless it was something that you needed to get done, I wouldn't be pushing her beyond her comfort zone at the moment - but I'm sure others would disagree.

The thing that strikes me is that she's only two. Not long ago little children really were just at home in a small world with their families ( not saying didnt cause other ossues). Wanting to play at home at that age seems reasonable ,although I understand the need for adults to get out for a change of scene. I wouldn't ask her if she wants to do things if you think you all should do something, be breezy that you are doing this now and will then come home , but maybe cut down the expectations and end activities early when they are still going well. She might be tired with all the Christmas things and being out of routine. Maybe she felt cold in the pool pr she was under the weather. I wouldn't worry too much yet, but give her a safe, reliable and predictable time.

I’ve been there!! It’s soul destroying so you have my sympathy. My 3yo is still like it sometimes. For example, I don’t bother trying to take her to the woods anymore. If we go, she simply won’t walk. I hate to let her dictate that we don’t go there but there’s absolutely no point if she will just refuse to walk.

it is better than it used to be though. For a while she would refuse to go anywhere, even places she enjoyed. It was a nightmare getting her out but she did enjoy it once there so this sounds a bit different to your DD.

Id say it’s just a phase but try and persist and if you’re planning on going somewhere make sure you say “we’re going to the park” instead of “shall we go to the park?”

you have my sympathy!

Yep. My DS will turn 3 next month. It's a mixture of can we go out to Tesco. And I don't want to wear the jacket and I don't want to sit in car seat and I don't want to step out.