15 month old still wakes at least 3 times per night

[Moonshine160]

15 month old DS2 wakes 3 times a night or more and it’s killing me. Last night it was 7 times. He has never slept through the night. Breastfed. He falls asleep independently at bedtime and for his nap. The problem is when he wakes in the night he can’t fall back to sleep unless he’s had a breastfeed. He doesn’t actually fall asleep feeding anymore, but unless I’ve fed him he just won’t go back down. I don’t want to sleep train him because he has congenital heart disease and needs heart surgery in one year, and we’ve noticed that he gets the most breathless when he cries. We tried a gentler method that involved staying in the room but there was just too much crying and I couldn’t stand it. DH has tried settling him instead of me but DS just and cries for me so I always intervene. I’ve tried co sleeping but DS hates it, he thrashes about and prefers his own space. We have a small bedroom so his cot bed doesn’t fit in our room. I just feel like I’m completely stuck and I’m so exhausted. I’m worried he’ll still be waking like this when he’s older and I’ll still be having to feed him. He’s a very small baby because of his condition but he eats loads of solids in the day. I don’t mind keeping one night feed but 3+ feeds for months on end is taking its toll. I suppose I’m just looking for reassurance that even if I do nothing it won’t be this way forever. We’ve had the occasional good spell where he only wakes once for about 2-3 nights but then it always goes back to this.

Schedule:

Wake - 6:30am
Nap - 12-2pm (on a good day, can be much shorter especially when in childcare)
Bed - 7:30pm.

That’s tough. My 22 months old also used to wake several times a night until 2 weeks ago. I went cold turkey on night feeds and if he woke I waited before going in- most of the time he’d resettle himself but could take a while! If he doesn’t settle I’ll go in, give a cuddle and back down. He picked it up really quickly surprisingly!

I let him cry in 10min intervals. But if you’re not willing to do that, would you consider moving his nap to the morning? So there’s a longer wake window before bedtime. Mine naps 10-12.

No advice unfortunately but same here. 3 wakes is the best we've ever had in 15 months.

My 1st was the same and started sleeping through when I stopped feeding (I stopped when both of us got poorly and he didn't want feeding). No idea how to stop as she is obsessed with it!

I keep hoping she will just grow out of it...

Will he take a dummy? My DS is also 15M and his dummy gives him comfort at night, it was a useful thing to help get him off the night feeds as when he wakes we stick it in (and these days he finds it himself and puts it in) and then he generally goes back to sleep.

No . just to say you aren't alone. 15 mo still waking at least 3 times too. Sometimes doing split nights too - a few nights ago it was almost 3 hours he was awake.

My DD was a terrible sleeper too this age but about 2 she started sleeping through and she's an amazing sleeper now. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

Same here. 15 month old and 2-3 wakes is a good night in this house. Breastfed. I do all the night wakes. I do worry that if I wean, she'll still wake anyway, and then I'll lose my trump card (whilst she feeds, she does fall asleep fairly quickly).

Don't want to do any cry it out either.
I did hope she'd curb night boob herself but it's not looking that way...

Normal for a breastfed baby in my experience.
Not what you want to hear but I am also in the trenches with DC3 who is almost 16 months old.
All my babies have been the same.
Seemed to get better for me around the 2.5 year mark 😬..

Having breastfed now pretty much constantly for almost 9 years, in my experience, until you stop feeding, this is normal behaviour.

Hope you get some sleep soon

Placemarking in here, my little one is only 10 months but wakes 3 times a night. I've managed to stop breastfeeding throughout the night, I just do it at bedtime and at around 6am. He still wakes at set times though!

Sometimes as soon as I lift him out of the crib he's already asleep in my arms, which is quite sweet but also very exhausting being woken every 2 hours then doing a full day's work with long commute. It feels really unsustainable

I had the same with my 12 month old. He was waking hourly and wouldn't go back to sleep without a feed. He also has a heart condition and his medication makes him really thirsty. I've started putting a cup of water in his bed with him. He now wakes up, finds his water himself, has a drink and goes back to sleep. Usually only needs 1 breastfeed from me overnight now. I wish I'd realised he was just thirsty a few months earlier!!

It's so hard, sleeplessness plus the health worries are awful, I'm sorry and hope it gets better soon

Thanks all. It really does help to know that I’m not alone. I just have bad days where I worry it won’t ever end. He does take a dummy and he needs it to sleep, but unfortunately he wakes even when it’s still in his mouth.

@newandconfused5 I have heard that with many breastfed babies that things improve around the 2.5 year mark. I assume that’s from weaning. I’m just scared about ever stopping breastfeeding and losing the only tool I have to get him back to sleep again. Nothing else works :(

@Wrongpostcode that’s really interesting! DS isn’t on any medication for his condition but I didn’t actually consider that he could simply be thirsty. I’ll see if he accepts some water in the night and if it helps at all (but I doubt it will!)

Same boat.
15 months old. Breast fed - at least 3 wakes a night. Random naps in the day. I've tried being regimental, I've tried going with the flow.
I've even tried cutting every other feed out- nope. Same outcomes.

Some nights we even have a split night.

I do all the wakes and all the feeds.

Some days I'm losing my mind, others I've somehow managed to pull enough sleep in between the wakes that I've managed to feel semi human.

Hi all. This group came to mind last night between 3-4 am when my little one was awake again. She's been unwell and up every 1.5/2 hours and is slowly killing me off.

Just need to know I'm not alone again. 😩

My 3.5 year old was up from 2.15 until 4.45

My daughter has poor sleep and needs me there to fall asleep when her reflux is poor or she has a bug which usually makes her reflux worse as well upsetting her sleep on its own. It takes a few weeks after a reflux flare up or a cold to reign her need for comfort from me and to get her sleeping better. For us a good night is me going into her once or twice covering her back up and putting my hand on her chest and she goes back to sleep and 10 minutes later I'm back in bed. A bad night I'm up for 2h as as soon as I think about moving she wakes up.

For us it's a balance of giving her the support she needs when she is struggling with her reflux and pushing her to be a bit more independent. We do it stepwise so if she had been going to sleep with me lay in the bed we try me sitting on the bed and then once she is happy with that we move to next to the bed. She cries but she never cries without me touching her. She likes to go to sleep stroking the top of my arm and usually on the second night she is more accepting of the new arrangement. If she does need me like last week when she had a cold I was back in bed with her as she needed cuddles. I need cuddles when I'm ill. I wake up once or twice a night for a drink or a wee or a cuddle if I'm anxious. I try not to put more expections on her than I do myself.
We have had a rough 6 months but before that we had 4 months of waking once a night at 3-5 am or sleeping through until 6-8am. We are hopefully we will get back to there. We were getting close before last week's cold after having her reflux meds increased