Are you always shattered?

[Swirls346]

I'm always tired, like there's never a relief from it. Have one son who is 2 and doesn't sleep great and recently decided he doesn't want to nap. Hes the type that's up at 530am and sometimes doesn't go to bed till 10pm. Very high energy but generally a joy to look after.
I'm just so tired all of the time. I do work but only 19 hours a week so it's manageable. I just need an answer to this extreme tiredness. Had bloods done and all normal.
Is everyone else the same?

Gosh OP, that is a long day to have an awake toddler! I have a 12 month old, but she sleeps a very long time at night. Nevertheless, I’ve been completely exhausted since I can remember.

The only thing that’s finally helped has been to move house and get a new bedroom, new pillow-top mattress, and shutters which black out the room, entirely. When you do finally get to bed, are you actually sleeping well?

15, 2 and 1. I'm fucking shattered!

5 DDs here and I’ve been exhausted since DD1 was born! I’m a SAHM now, still as exhausted as when I was a DHT in a primary school with little DDs. I think it’s normal. DH is amazing but he works so only so much he can do during the week.

@Namemchangeforthispostonly101 thanks for the advice.
He doesn't wake at 530 and go to bed at 10 every night. This was just an example how a lot of times he's an early riser and then other times he doesn't sleep till late (not always simultaneously )
Sometimes he's ok and will go to bed about 830 and sleep till 6.30/7. But it never lasts.
At the minute it's so hard to nail a routine because he's refusing a nap.
He actually didn't wake until 8am today then wouldn't nap at all so fell asleep at 5pm!!! And had to wake him after half hour. He's still up now and full of beans.
I've got to admit I find it hard to nail a routine down and sleep doesn't come easy to him.
He's never miserable from the lack of sleep, doesn't seem to affect him what so ever. It's just me that's shattered from it 😅

My parents were older when they had me.
I had my son at 25 and I'm 27 now 😅😅. My mum was 30 when she had me.

So glad I'm not alone in this absolute exhaustion then. Seems like it's pretty normal when having young kids. Thing is, we want another one but feel like I can just about manage one??

This is exactly how I feel. I do have a quite severely autistic pda youngest who wakes through the night aged 8, regularly wets the bed, plus I work FT and manage far too many people so it's understandable, but generally yes, this is my life now.

Me. Absolutely exhausted. I have an 18 month old, I feel like how someone else commented, like a shadow of my former self. I hope I get some part of my former self back at some point, or at least some energy. I’m constantly ill with a bug since add started nursery, I’ve caught another one from my DD on Christmas Day and it’s been nearly a year of cold after cold on top of bad sleep. I work full time too, luckily I can work from home sometimes.

i didn’t even think about all the bugs i
would pick up when DD started nursery and it’s just completely wiped me on top of everything else. No advice but solidarity.

I think part of the challenge @platinumplus is that I am already older! 43 with a 2 and 5 year old. It wasn’t by design - I had challenges with getting pregnant and then having miscarriages (not age related) so we ended up having kids much later than we’d planned.

My eldest was a terrible sleeper until 2.5 and my youngest was absolutely horrific until around 8 months (would only sleep being held as he was suffering from terrible eczema) but now they sleep much better although there is usually one call out a night from someone and a bit of bed hopping goes on. So sleep deprivation is definitely a factor.

I do also work full time in a demanding job, so life is very full, but I find going to work is a good balance for me as I’m not really sahm material. In fact I do wonder if the reason I’m so tired is because I find parenting so hard, and it doesn’t come naturally.

Totally exhausted.
I work PT
2 children, 4&6. One with a serious illness and some long term disabilities, the other with emerging MH issues that we need to get her help for ASAP (things are in place already but she needs more support). Neither sleep through the night, it's often nearby 10 before we get the eldest to sleep, then I often have to start work because I can't fit in the hours otherwise because of my youngests additional needs.

So I end up in bed midnightish, usually to then be woken by my youngest who sometimes goes straight back, sometimes is up for hours and is then up for the day at 6.30. husband is usually in with eldest as her anxiety is such that she needs him there.

We are knackered.

His sleep pattern sounds exhausting, DS1 was like that, I was shattered too!

Your parents have forgotten or perhaps you and your siblings slept more.

You say "we" - does your partner do his share? I was exhausted with DS1 because I was a single parent. With the younger kids it's better because DH and I give each other lie ins, naps etc. And if we need to take DC out to wear them out a bit then only one of us has to go and do it if the other wants a sleep or to tidy up in peace etc.

Yes. 15 years into being a parent. Full bloods looked at every few years for the same reason. All apparently normal. Last time I wasn’t tired was 2007.

Oh yes

Four year old twins.

Don't reliably sleep through.

Been shit sleepers for so long I struggle to fall asleep because I'm always anticipating the wake up so I can't wind down for sleep very well.

I have my own mattress on their floor. That helps.

Even night's they sleep through,y bladder is used to being emptied regularly now so wakes me up.

On the odd night I sleep through too, it actually makes the sleep dep worse cos it's like my body realises what it's missing

@CherryBlossom321 i also had full bloods done last year and was told ‘normal’ when in fact my folate was very low (only 0.01 above the lowest value in the range!) and I was borderline anemic too. I’ve upped my supplements including iron and that’s helped.

I’m awake as first my two year old woke up and then my five year old. Two year old is now in my bed with DH and I’m in with five year old. My sinuses are still full of gunk after a cold so I’m finding it hard to get back to sleep. No wonder I’m tired!

Functioning me and hubby call it. We are just functioning at the moment with 3 under 3 lol

It is tiring but honestly nothing compared to 2. I don't know how people with twins do it or those who have any health issues. My daughter was up from 5 every day and a nightmare to nap. She stopped napping altogether at 2. Having a second just meant everything for harder and I'm permanently exhausted. I look back with such fondness now on having just one.

This has made me feel a tiny bit better about struggling to conceive a second child tbf 😅. I do think 2 looks sooo hard 😅😅. How close are yours together ? One is hard enough !! How do some people have like 5??

Exhausted. DD1 (almost 3) is not a good sleeper - if she wakes in the night, she’s wide awake for a minimum of two hours but up to five hours at times. We also have a DD2, aged five months. She sleeps ok but dream feeds at midnight and is still up one more time in the night for a feed. Sometimes (mainly when poorly), like last night, she’s impossible to get back in to the cot so I have to stay awake to hold her.
DH is ‘in charge’ of DD1 at night, I’m on call for DD2, we take it in turns to be shattered or, sometimes both are, like today.
We often get to bed at midnight/1am by the time we’ve got both girls to bed and done the clean up. Hoping it’s all settled by the time I go back to work in a few months’ time 😖
After assessing the stats, we’re starting a new, really rigid routine for DD1 tonight - seems if she gets to sleep in a certain window, she’s more likely so sleep through. Pray for us that it works 🙏🏼😴

Grandparents have very short memories so I'd take what they say with a pinch of salt

My dad insists my brother never slept in their bed - whereas I know from my mum he did until he was 4 and my dad would sleep in my brothers bed he disapproves that my 2 year old comes into our bed - when you're tired and they have never really slept through you do what you can to get sleep.

There's so much my dad has said - well you and your brother never did that - from speaking to family friends we absolutely did!

I was just reading yet another Instagram parenting post and it was about being in flight or flight mode constantly for the first five years of parenting and I though ‘that’s me’ and that’s almost certainly why I’m so tired. It’s like being on high alert all the time. New Year’s resolution to try and get out of this permanent wired/exhausted state.

It's worth getting blood tests done to check for thyroid or vitamin issues (although it's easy enough to supplement with vitamins bought yourself so dont necessarily need to be tested first). I have hypothyroidism but don't feel tired as I get hormone replacement from my GP.

Pre-dcs I used to go to bed at 1-2am so I've never needed much sleep tbh. So I don't feel shattered in the way new mums often are. My toddler is 20m and wakes 1-3 times a night. I only feel tired if I've stayed up late until 3-4am (last night got to bed at 4am as I was completing forms). Woken at 6.30am for a feed. I feel tired but I've been to a family rave and going to a play later. I do feel tired but I would have been fine if I'd got to bed at 1am.

@Elisabeth3468 they're 2 years apart but we started trying when DD was 6 months so thank god it took 10 months to get pregnant

Permanently. DC2 has never slept through so I'm up at least once a night.
I think the killer is when you have small kids you don't get breaks. Weekends are not restful. Holidays are if anything more tiring than when you're at work and they're in school/childcare. There's no chance to recharge and reset and catch up on sleep. There are no lie ins.
Related: I cannot wait for term to begin again.

Did your mum work when you and your brother were tiny? Maybe you were better sleepers, too - it’s the luck of the draw.

Maybe she put you in your cots or a play pen and had a daily nap!