At my wits end with miserable 11 month old

[L00k4m3x]

Just that really.

The happiest baby ever until maybe 6-8 weeks a go when he turned in to a shrieking, screaming, crying demon child. He is clingy 24/7, you cannot put him down anymore without him crying at you. I’ve been to the doctors with him for check ups, we’ve seen the health visitor in that time and there’s no concerns. He’s developing absolutely perfectly, has very recently started trying to copy words and like every baby this age he does want to walk but can’t, so maybe it’s frustration.

I’m aware a lot of it is probably also tiredness but how do you force a baby to sleep? You can’t. We’ve tried everything. He has one decent nap of the morning usually 2/2.5 hours and completely refuses the second one when I KNOW he needs it. He goes to bed fine but is generally waking up several times in the night, we’ve tried Calpol, nurofen, teething meds (will admit he is getting yet another tooth) but nothing helps.

He does have these fleeting moments of being happy, playing etc and generally he enjoys being out of the house so we do try and get out a lot but of course it’s not always possible. I can’t lie, he is still super easy to make smile/laugh, but the amount of whining completely outweighs it.

Please can someone tell me my happy, chilled baby will come back? I’m sick of being this over tired, angry parent who has no time or patience for anything.

Did anything happen just before he changed? Did he have a virus by any chance?

I do think though that this can be a really hard stage. They're understanding so much more and get frustrated that they can't communicate as much as they understand.

Using some basic signs seemed to help the frustration for us. Have a look at Makaton or get some tips from Mr Tumble. The local library might even have a book on Baby Signs that you could try.

As for the sleep, I'd limit the first nap to 1.5 hours. This will give him 2 full sleep cycles. He may be super tired and miserable afterwards but after a couple of days he should start to have a second nap, especially if you try a contact nap or taking him out in the pushchair or car.

Also treat him as though he has separation anxiety and don't leave him, even if you go to the toilet, just plonk him on the floor with a toy or two.

As above, signing is a game changer DD was able to communicate in quite complex sign sentences long before she could verbalise them and it reduced frustration massively.

Main signs to start with:
Milk (open and close fisted hand like milking a cow)
Food (mime bring food to your mouth)
Drink (mime bringing cup to your mouth)
More ( tap back of your hand)
All gone (put two hands together (in a pincer shape fingertips touching and move them apart)
Sleep ( mime sleep with hands under head)
Home (fingertips together, palms apart in a roof shape)
Sign these everytime you say them and he will soon pick them up, babies can sign from the age they can clap so 6 months or so

I would imagine it's largely teething based problem though, I can't remember when DD got her molars but know they caused issues for weeks before they actually erupted.

I'd knock the 2-2.5 hour morning nap on the head pretty sharpish. Not surprised he won't nap again! 30-45 mins then a long afternoon nap and see if that helps.

Yes! This is a phase. I believe they start to think if they can’t see you that’s you’ve left them. Something to do a part of the brain that develops? So he thinks if he can’t see you. You’ve left him completely. He doesn’t understand that you can be out of sight but close by

Sorry, mine was miserable and clingy at that age too… nothing really helped he just grew out of it.

He did also go through a very hungry phase though… he needed to be almost constantly snacking all day to get enough food in. So may be worth offering snacks more often in case he’s hungry.

@SErunner Honestly have tried all lengths of naps and it makes no difference, he point blank will not take another 😩 Will try again to cut it short and see if it makes a difference. Today I had to cut his morning nap short to 50 minutes and he screamed the place down when I woke him up, he was utterly miserable and I’ve just tried a second nap 3.5 hours later and he’s just messing about, babbling so I’ve given up. I’d consider pushing him in his pram for his second nap but he has only fallen asleep in his pram once, he’s too interested in everything to let himself fall asleep when we’re out.

@DuploTrain I do wonder if he’s hungry and breast milk just isn’t cutting it anymore, obviously I don’t make milk quite like when he was a newborn but he does seem to want it more. He isn’t great with food atm, we started to get somewhere with weaning when he was about 9 months old, but the last two weeks he has started just messing around and spitting things out again after chewing on them for a bit. Hope it’s all part of the same ‘phase’.

Have you tried offering BM after solids at least a couple of times? My DH helped with this by getting up in the morning with them and giving them breakfast.

Is he trying to walk?? If so, do you have a walker?

I'd second this. I have seen your update about naps if you've given this way a decent run (2 weeks) and it doesn't work I'd start pushing the morning nap back by 20 mins every couple of days till you are around 11:30/12 and just go to one nap. My DS dropped his second nap at 11 months and the difference was dramatic once he was used to it