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Original poster

How old, before allowed to light the fire?

32 replies

whenwhenwhen · 26/12/2023 22:03

Came home from a walk this afternoon, DS had lit the fire in the living room. He's 14 and sensible, said he was cold so turned on the gas fireplace and was sitting in front of it watching the TV.

It made me think, what do other people allow their kids to do? What is normal? Ours is just a dial you turn and it turns on. He's seen us do it, so copied. It's going to be different if you have a log burner or electric fireplace.

Anyway, what do you all do / allow?

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AvengedQuince · 26/12/2023 22:05

DS knew he could put the heating on when he got in from school at 11.

SoOutingWhoCares · 26/12/2023 22:07

10 or 11

BrimfulOfMash · 26/12/2023 22:07

Well mine could lay an actual fire in a grate or a fire pit and light it by the age of eight so…

(Wouldn’t have been home alone to do anything like that unsupervised though).

Surely by the time a child is old enough to be at home alone they should be able to light a domestic gas fire or oven etc?

Mine were in the house for an hour and a half after school from the start of Yr 7. So then, I guess.

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ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 26/12/2023 22:08

Surely by the time a child is old enough to be at home alone they should be able to light a domestic gas fire or oven etc?

I would agree with this.

purser25 · 26/12/2023 22:08

A long time ago you had to lay and light a fire for a Brownie badge. I would think a 14 year old should be more than capable of putting on a gas fire

QuillBill · 26/12/2023 22:09

Ours is just a dial you turn and it turns on. He's seen us do it, so copied.

I'd say six for that.

GHSP · 26/12/2023 22:10

My kids could sweep the grate and lay a fire reliably between 8 and 10. One didn’t like
matches until age 11 or so so used a flint and steel and some tissues to get the fire going. They weren’t really home alone long enough until age 12 or so, but I’d have been fine with them lighting the fire. Expecting a 14yo to wait until mummy and daddy are home is a bit infantilising.

rainbowbee · 26/12/2023 22:11

40 and counting here...

AvengedQuince · 26/12/2023 22:13

The specific example is a bit complicated as you have the cost issue, whether you would have allowed the fire on had he asked first. Did he have a jumper and socks on first? A real fire DS was laying and lighting when camping from about 7 or 8.

Familiaritybreedscontemptso · 26/12/2023 22:17

My dc can both light a (real) fire and have done so since around 8. They aren’t allowed to light it without an adult at home though but may well be by 14…I’m not sure.

Gas fire totally different & just like turning the heating on which dd does regularly when she’s home alone after school - she’s 11.

FuckinghellthatsUnbelievable · 26/12/2023 22:17

My dc have been lighting the wood stove since about 10 with supervision. I’d trust the 13 yo to do it himself. It’s v straightforward.

Original poster
whenwhenwhen · 26/12/2023 22:18

@AvengedQuince Of course - though a central heating thermostat is a bit of a more controlled system, with no open flames - but I take your point. I should probably have asked people to respond with what kind of fire, and the age.

@BrimfulOfMash That's a great life skill and brilliant that your kid knows that. We've not had an open fire until recently, and not had a conversation about it with him, I don't have a problem with what he's done as long as he knows how to be safe and I think he does.

@GHSP Didn't mean to infantilise him and didn't tell him off - was just interested to see that he'd done it, and wondered how other people handled it. I'm actually proud of him for being sensible and safe.

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AvengedQuince · 26/12/2023 22:26

Does the open flame matter? It's no more risky than him cooking on a gas stove top after school is it? Presumably he's not going to stick something flammable in the fire?

mambojambodothetango · 26/12/2023 22:28

DS is 12 and I taught him to lay and light a real fire this winter.

LessOfMe99 · 26/12/2023 22:30

Turn a gas fire on - by 10. I was setting and lighting an open coal fire unsupervised at 14.

wideawakeinthemiddleofthenightagain · 26/12/2023 22:35

I was certainly laying and lighting an open fire when I was 8 and wasn't even that closely supervised. There would have been adults in the house but not watching me as they trusted me to do it.
I think that your situation is absolutely fine. If anything, I'd be feeling bad that I hadn't explained to him properly what needed to be done, in what order, who to reach out to if it went wrong and what dangers to look out for. Presumably your DS cooks meals at his age? To be honest, I'm trying to work out why lighting a gas fire would be perceived to be worse than lighting the hob.

TheChosenTwo · 26/12/2023 22:39

Ds is 12 and sets and lights a fire for us (open fire) but only when we’re home. He’s rarely home alone as I wfh and we generally only have them in the evenings when we are going to sit in that room.
We do have underfloor heating across the house and he is obviously capable of turning his bedroom thermostat to whatever temperature he wants, it’s just a case of pressing up and down arrows!
Not sure I’d want him lighting a fire if we were all out but the situation hasn’t really presented itself and the times he’s left home alone he is generally in his room anyway.

flowerchild2000 · 26/12/2023 22:41

I taught mine how to build a fire with wood as soon as they were physically able. 7 I think? Allowed to alone different ages based on the maturity of each child. I would think 14 is well above that, as long as you've taught him what to do/not do.

Original poster
whenwhenwhen · 26/12/2023 22:55

@AvengedQuince Yes, he had socks and a top on already, but was still cold (chilly here) so I have no problem with him turning the fire on to warm himself up.

@wideawakeinthemiddleofthenightagain Yes, I'm actually feeling a bit bad I hadn't shown him / told him explicitly. Our fire is a bit more complicated than lighting the gas hob in the kitchen, as that has a starter button to ignite the gas going, whereas the fire has a standing pilot light which makes things easy UNLESS you turn the knob the wrong way and actually extinguish the pilot light, at which point you need matches to relight it, which he wouldn't have seen us do before. Anyway he figured out what he needed to do and I'm happy that he's problem solved successfully. And that I had a warm and cosy living room when I got home! 😀🔥

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UsingChangeofName · 26/12/2023 23:05

If that is the way you heat your living room, then I would have shown him a long time ago, so he was used to doing it, with an adult keeping an eye, long before he might ever need to do it for himself when he was by himself.

Yerroblemom1923 · 26/12/2023 23:09
  1. My dd knows how to lay and light a fire and keep it going.
PepsiCoco · 26/12/2023 23:10

I guess it depends if gas would billow out in to the lounge if left unlit. Presumably most gas fires have an automatic cut off.

My daughter, when she was about 12, reversed my car off the drive because she’d seen me do it many times…

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 26/12/2023 23:14

As a pp said, it was part of a Brownie badge to light a fire years ago, the Homemaker badge or some such outdated thing. So by 10 at the latest.

Original poster
whenwhenwhen · 26/12/2023 23:25

UsingChangeofName · 26/12/2023 23:05

If that is the way you heat your living room, then I would have shown him a long time ago, so he was used to doing it, with an adult keeping an eye, long before he might ever need to do it for himself when he was by himself.

We actually have central heating and radiators, so he could have turned up the thermostat, but he clearly wanted a bit more warmth by the fire!

This is only our second winter in our home, and the first with this kind of fire.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 27/12/2023 04:52

whenwhenwhen · 26/12/2023 22:03

Came home from a walk this afternoon, DS had lit the fire in the living room. He's 14 and sensible, said he was cold so turned on the gas fireplace and was sitting in front of it watching the TV.

It made me think, what do other people allow their kids to do? What is normal? Ours is just a dial you turn and it turns on. He's seen us do it, so copied. It's going to be different if you have a log burner or electric fireplace.

Anyway, what do you all do / allow?

He's 14, of course it's normal to do that. Mibw were lighting gas hobs from secondary age without supervision and cooking meals