3yr old is a terrible eater

[NeverMindIGuess]

This is my first post but my 3 year old has me baffled and I've ran out of ideas!

He's just 3, was BLW and used to love a huge variety of food. Now he eats a handful of foods at most and is reducing his 'like' list by the day.

He will look at his plate and just refuse it.

*I've been through fussy eating with another child but they eat a bigger range than my 3 year old.

Has anyone had similar and got to the other side?

Bumping

My DS 5 is a truly awful eater. I've stopped trying with him now, as long as he eats I'm not bothered anymore. He had a lot of medical problems when he was younger and his diet was medically restricted and altered, now it doesn't need to be but he won't try anything. I can probably count on 2 hands the amount of foods that he eats. The only veg he will eat are peas and the only fruit he will eat are apples. Doesn't eat any meat at all. Will live off cheese on toast if I let him!

Sorry appreciate that's no help to you but you are not alone

Thank you! Sorry you've the same struggles! I've had similar with one of my other DC, especially regarding the restricted diet for outside reasons but has always been willing to eat something they like. Im also not bothered because there's 1 veg and a couple fruits they will eat.

My 3 year old just likes something then suddenly has a meltdown and won't touch it again.

My 3 year old is terrible but always has been quite bad. Very limited list of food. Not a single vegetable which is stressful. I can get the odd one hidden in but generally not.

We think he might have sensory issues but nothing formally diagnosed.

We have tried star charts, getting him involved in cooking, games etc. He will not even try anything. It's very stressful.

Like you, I have another who is a great eater so I'm hopeful it's nothing I have done.

I have no advice but solidarity. It's so difficult and frustrating.

DS has had phases of this through his life. We had a period where he would only eat chicken nuggets. Then he went through a phase or refusing any hot food and would leave it till it was stone cold. Then we had a few years of him eating ‘like a lion’ - so he would fill his boots one day and then eat next to nothing for three or four days.
He’s now 15, 5’10 and eating me out of house and home on a daily basis! My only advice would be to make it an issue. As long as he appeared to be happy we have never pushed it with him. Good luck!

Oh and fwiw he has SPD so we always figured it was a sensory thing.

Thank you for all the replies!

What do you do if they just don't eat? Lunch then dinner both refused, most the time breakfast too.

I have an autistic child with ARFID and I work on the basis that it’s better to have food than not, so sometimes that means the same meal served every day and for every mealtime for a week. It takes away the anxiety and the unpredictability of mealtimes.

Things to consider are whether mealtimes are too much of a sensory overload, whether your child is not hungry or too hungry, too tired, overstimulated or needing an element of control.

Maybe he will always be quiet or very restrictive with food. That’s also an ok outcome if that’s what happens.

Is there anything that's never refused? I always offer porridge or rice crispies as that's something mine will always eat. Might be wrong but I can't let him go without at 3 years old personally.

Sorry Ive not worded this very well, yes there are some foods he likes that I always offer. He does eat just not a lot

I think at 3 it's usually a contol issue (a bit like trying to get them dressed!) As with many things it's a phase and as frustrating as it is the best thing to do is avoid making it into a battle.

Ds2 had severe reflux and then had sensory food issues. I tried new foods at lunch, did not make a big deal about it and then fed him what I knew he would eat at dinner so he didn't go to bed hungry. I kept a food diary to reassure myself of what he would eat.

As he got older and had started school, not every night but some nights I would give him a teaspoon of whatever we were eating, once he had that he could have his favourite foods which included white wraps. It meant he got used to taste and texture. I won't say he changed overnight but he got better.

Now he is 17 eats Indian curry, Thai curry, white fish, salmon, cheese, chicken, ham, steak, pork, bolognaise, chilli and veg, potatoes, sweetcorn, broccoli, green beans but that is about it for veg. There are foods he still won't eat like grated cheese but will eat cheese (I know) or bacon. But considering where we started he has come a long way.

At 3 it is a bit of power, distracted and wanting to be off playing etc. School helps as they see other children eating lots of different foods. Don't make it a battle, don't cajole, just put it out, eat at the same time to be sociable and chat to him as a bit of a distraction from eating. Good luck.

A food diary is a good idea actually thank you

I've had two fussy eaters out of four and it does get better. My fussiest has been my boy twin. Up until recently he would only eat chicken nuggets, fish fingers, plain pasta and peas for evening meals. His lunch is school would be a tuna sandwich every day. He's 7 now and has started eating pizza, burgers and sausages (not amazing but quite an achievement considering lol). He actually ate beef today which was surprising and ate turkey for Christmas! I don't force it, just put it on the plate for them to taste.
My now 15 year old was similar when younger but now he'll eat curries, spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, full Sunday roasts etc. When he was about 9 he voluntary ate a potato for the first time because he'd grown it himself so that's a good incentive!

@NeverMindIGuess it reassured me he was eating even if it was small amounts. Plus I could list out what he ate under categories like protein and carbs etc when the week was done. He was on a prescription formula for the reflux which did not taste like milk at all so he wouldn't drink any milk after 14 months when we stopped the formula. We tried follow on milk, cow's, goat, oat everything so I had to monitor his calcium intake with yoghurt and cheese. He started drinking milk at nursery when his peers did.

Up until maybe 14 he would eat much smaller portions than he should have as if he overfilled his stomach he would reflux, he still does now at 17. He has learned never to over eat.

I don’t have any real advice but this is the age my son suddenly became a fussy eater. He’s now 4.5 and suddenly around 3 (maybe a couple months before) he just stopped eating loads of different foods and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why.

He was also BLW and ate SOOOO well as a baby and toddler. I remember plumbers fitting a new boiler in our house the once and they saw him eating his lunch (there was stuff like carrot sticks, cucumber sticks, strawberries, blueberries and raspberries on the plate) and they were seriously shocked.

He still won’t eat fruit or vegetables, I have no idea why. He will at least try them though now before declaring he doesn’t want to eat them and that he’s finished with his meal most of the time. This goes for every ‘new’ food he tries. Which isn’t really technically new it’s just a food he stopped enjoying. The only fruit we manage to get him to eat is apples and he does eat things like chick peas, black beans and kidney beans. Everything else is just a huge no no.

He has a multivitamin every day, only drinks water, has no chocolate really and has never had sweets, so that sooooorrt of makes me feel better somewhat. I just don’t apply too much pressure, keep offering them and hope one day he goes back to eating like he used to. 😩

Yes - experienced very similar with my DS, similar age as well. Started to get really worried about it so sought advice from our HV. They were great, weighed him and checked he was ok in terms of age/ weight, and then basically said don’t worry, so so so many children do this. Their advice was pretty much try to ignore it and don’t make a big deal out of it - praise the good and ignore the bad. All sit down to eat together, and if they want to eat ANYTHING just let them because “one day” they will eat more things (probably). Anyway we are a year on from that now and the advice seems to have worked brilliantly, he’s not exactly a good eater and only really eats the same food on rotation at home, but is much more adventurous at preschool so we are definitely through that hellish phase. Good luck!!