I seem to have the most unhappy 1 year old ever! When will it get better?!

[Bambinobaby]

My little girl is just miserable 85% of the time, the other 15% being as soon as she wakes up, we might get a smiley half hour or so out of her before it all goes back to whining incessantly.

She turned 1 just a few days ago and she’s been pretty miserable since she was born. She cried non stop for about 4 months, I recall having a nice 5th month with her then at 6months it all went downhill again and has never really recovered.

She hates the car, she hates the pram, she’s not particularly social and doesn’t want to know other people. She whines on and off virtually all day every day, and even at night she’s still waking anywhere between 2-6 times so I’m literally dealing with some kind of crying virtually around the clock 24/7.

She saw a cranial osteopath as a new born and was all fine, along with having a tongue tie cut around the same sort of time.

She just seems to be super super sensitive to absolutely everything and already throws a fit if she can’t do what she wants. She can’t walk yet, and is happiest outside but being the middle of winter I can’t let her crawl outside and the whining is killing me.

not sure why I posted, I just need to know if anyone went through similar and when it started to get better?

Do you think she could be in any pain or discomfort? How does she react if you try to make her giggle in typical amusing a baby fashion - peekabo, making a popping sound with finger in your cheek, tickling etc?

My eldest was just like this and he's an absolute angel now he's older. I remember feeling real despair at your stage, and envious rage towards people with easy/average babies. But it will get so much better. Some babies just hate being babies and get easier and easier as they learn to talk and can run around etc.

Is she anywhere near walking? That made such a difference to mine

Mine was really miserable the first 3 year years. He’s 3.5 years now and just got a bit better. He’s only better since he can do everything himself and talk clearly.

So I think walking is a massive issue for us, she’s bizarrely equal parts velcro baby and equal parts desperate to be off exploring but is still very limited in what she can do.

We can get smiles and giggles out of her, but it does take effort, she’s not a naturally smiley happy baby. We give her calpol often because she’s teething all the time but even so she’s a massive grumps the majority of the time. It just feels never ending!

My middle was like this- it was a combination of sensory needs as she is autistic, a huge desire to be independent and able to move by herself, and dairy and egg allergies which once we eliminated those items from her diet, helped a lot. Cutting out the allergens made a huge difference, as did slowing down what we did/ adapting what we did. So nothing smelly like scented candles or diffusers, a quiet house with sensory friendly play activities, when we went out and about we put the rain cover over the buggy to reduce sounds that got through, and lots of holding as she was also a velcro baby. She always had to have her feet covered by socks and screamed if she wore anything with a waistband, figuring that out meant she calmed down a lot too. Once she could walk and talk she calmed down A LOT as she could show us or tell us what was the problem.

It depends on the child. Dc1 (autistic) was a miserable baby, abit better at 2, hardwork at 3, then lovely at 4.

Dc2 was a happy cuddly little baby, but a little horror at 2, then lovely again 3 and now amazing at 4.

They both ate better from 3.5, and seem to go through little phases, and noticible changes every half a year or so. I have found 4 to be a lovely age for both of my dcs. They're out of the toddler stage, no nappies pushchairs, and just lovely little people that are more aware, and fun to be around.

One of mine was like this. He just seemed to hate being a baby/toddler and spent most of the time being grumpy with frustration. It was bloody hard work.

Right now, if she likes being outside, I'd get her one of those snowsuit things, gloves and boots, and just let her crawl in the mud.

In the long term, I ended up with an incredibly motivated, self sufficient young man, who is an absolute joy.

Yep my youngest hated everything as a baby. Strangers would comment in the street (which really helped my mood).

She has moments of being extreme high maintenance but she is completely different now!

I second the puddle suit and outside.

Could it be silent reflux?

My daughter cried for 16-20h a day until nearly 5 months when I went dairy and soya free and her reflux treatment was improved. She had periods of being unsettled when we found new foods she reacted too or her reflux spiked again. She went through a particularly bad relapse at 13 months and ended up back on high dose meds, we had been able to reduce her medication quite significantly. She continued to have periods of unsettled when her reflux became less controlled by meds but relatively short lived. She turned 3 in the summer has been in a bad reflux relapse since.
The cyclic nature of reflux is something I wasn't expecting

My eldest was exactly the same, I relate to everything you’ve written. We had a nice-ish month or 2 circa 6-8 months but other than that he was a miserable baby (unless he was out of the house as well!) He slept through after some gentle sleep training at 10 months. Didn’t make the slightest difference to his mood. Neither did dairy free or reflux meds or anything like that.

It improved a lot when he could walk and it improved exponentially when he could talk. He was a pretty easy child from 18 months. Easy to potty train. Easy to take out. Has been a bit difficult again age 3 but still nowhere near as dire as his first 1-1.5 years.

He’s very intelligent as per pre school. I think he hated being a baby and the limitations of his own body.

Dc1 was a miserable baby, cried all the time, whinged, grizzled, barely slept, never smiled. He suffered from silent reflux so was uncomfortable. Everyone said he would cheer up once walking, sadly he didn’t, was cruising at 9 months, walked at 10 months. He went on to be diagnosed with CMPA at 12 months. Cheered up a little after that but honestly he only really started to be more happy at around 2.5 years. He hates the winter though and he’s now 9, always has.

Ours was miserable and a poor sleeper for over a year until we cut out dairy, it was CMPA. Hope you find something that helps yours.

This. Mine was out rain or shine, all winter. I was frequently on the beach with her, in the pouring rain, and a thousand dog walkers. No one else.

Mine's ND too BTW, which is a theme on this thread. ADHD rather than ASD but still. Not great at being a baby, just wanted to be up and moving. And didn't sleep.

Was just coming on to say this - friend had the most grizzly grumpy baby who always seems to have every cough and cold going - turned out to be dairy allergy, improved hugely once sorted - sleep, mood, immune system, etc. poor wee thing must have been so uncomfortable most of her first year.

Seeing a lot of CMPA suggestions which is a big coincidence because I’d wondered if she had an allergy as a newborn and was told by the GP that babies cry and I was just a new parent.

more recently we’ve stopped using formula and swapped to full milk, since the transition she’s started to get quite a rash on her back, looks like eczema and was planning to go to a gp in the new year for it. Will look at cutting dairy for a while to see if there’s an improvement

Dc1 was like this also and I remember thinking he was the most miserable baby but he had colic/reflux and it took some time for us to get through that. We were told it was likely CMPA also but my gut was that he just needed time to mature (preemie) and he would grow out of it, which he did. He's still quite highly strung and needs a lot of attention/burn off energy but he is very affectionate and loving now at 3.5yo. I do think in part it's a personality thing but they do change as they grow. Hang in there! You're not the only one.

Why can’t she crawl outside because it is winter? Get her some good warm and waterproof outdoor clothes and let her go.

Seeing a lot of CMPA suggestions which is a big coincidence because I’d wondered if she had an allergy as a newborn and was told by the GP that babies cry and I was just a new parent

I think this is one of the ways women are dismissed by medics.

I have one of these who hated everything being carried, being let go and never happy whatever I did. He is highly strung. He is now 5 and has sensory issues and sees an occupational therapist. He doesn't have asd but they aren't ruling out adhd. It gets better but he was never content and never a walk in the park. I have nephews where my siblings and relatives would complain about trivial things and I used to roll my eyes and say fuck me try having my one. But it does get easier when they start to communicate and they start being their own person.

Op I’d continue to get her checked out just in case it is something physical, either with your own gp or another, I know people are saying dairy, but if she’s just turned 1 has she had much dairy?

Under 1s are almost solely fed dairy! Formula is dairy and dairy proteins from mum's diet go into breastmilk!

I was just thinking she’s had nothing but milk since she was born? She was also formula fed so even more so exposed to dairy

You can develop an allergy at any age.
Delayed allergies can have subtle symptoms that might not have been obvious. They give digestive symptoms loose stools or gastric discomfort causing unsettleness. A friend of mine only realised her eldest aged 2 had a dairy allergy from birth when her second had multiple food allergies with some more obvious symptoms.

@Bambinobaby I was dismissed by GP so many times, told similar that babies cry or he’s hungry & I needed to feed him more. He was utterly miserable, Health visitor wasn’t a lot of help. It was only a house move when 12 months old and a new GP who listened and suggested CMPA. He was still miserable but cutting dairy helped.