5 months postnatal, health anxiety, lack of sleep. Help

[Cwtchybear]

Hi all
I'm new to this forum but I think I need some help/advice. My DS is nearly 5 months and ever since he was born (even probably a little bit in pregnancy) I have really bad health anxiety with myself. Any little thing I think the worst case scenario and I'm petrified. I've had a 8 week course of CBT which didn't really help. I hardly sleep as I'm exclusively BF and he still feeds every 2 hours or wakes in-between for his dummy so I'm constantly up. I feel dizzy all the time and it must be to do with lack of sleep but it's scaring me. I'm not googling because I'll go down a dark hole.

This all started probably because I woke up paralysed last November and got to a and e where they dipped my urine and found out I was pregnant as well. They initially told me it was MS then 4 months later after a repeated MRI the consultant said it was a one off episode and not MS. Since all this I've been awful with anxiety, I've never had anxiety before. I'm not medicated and not a massive fan to take meds either especially as I'm exclusively BF.

I'm just wondering if anyone had this postnatal? I'm living in a constant fear, Ive gone off food but I am forcing myself to eat for BF and I am loosing weight which scares me as well but it's probably because I'm not eating as much and he's constantly feeding off me. Obviously lack of sleep doesn't help either.

Thank you

Sorry you are going through this, it sounds like you’re having a really tough time. Sleep deprivation is no joke. I would urge you to contact your GP and ask for more support. You may also be able to self refer for perinatal mental health support (you can in my borough). Is there anyone else around who can support you in the meantime? Partner? Parents or sibling? Please take good care of yourself, it’s really good you’re eating well. We started sleep training at just before 6 months because I was at the end of my tether with sleep deprivation. It’s changed our lives, and didn’t involve abandoning our child, so think about if that might be the right decision for you. Wishing you well xxx

You desperately need sleep. This isn't safe for you or your child. Has he ever taken a bottle, either formula or pumped milk? If not, someone can syringe feed or cup feed him for one feed while you get a stretch of sleep. You don't mention if you have anybody to help with childcare, if you don't then I would get in touch with health visitor, they may be able to help you with resources. Take care of yourself, you cannot pour from an empty cup and your son deserves a healthy parent.

I have got in touch with the GP and I have a telephone consultation at the start of January. My husband is amazing and takes my son when he can to help, I can't seem to nap in the day so there's no help with myself there. Omg any tips for sleep training would really help 🤍. He does take a bottle and we give him expressed milk as he bed time at 7pm feed but he still wakes every half hour or hourly until we go to bed around 10pm. Then wakes 2 hourly over night. Xx

I do need to sleep I know and I think that will solve a lot of my issues. As replied above I do give him expressed milk as his night feed but it's so much easier through the night to feed him on me and quicker than giving a bottle so that's why I feed through the night. I have my parents and my husband as great support but my parents are going away for a couple of months soon but I have an older sister who could help when she doesn't work. It's all hardcore the first few months I know but I'm exhausted.

Can you and your husband try staggered sleep shifts? For a while I was going to bed at 8 and he would go to bed at 1, then I'd take over when baby next woke up and let dad lie in a bit. Then at least you both get a few uninterrupted hours. I'm with you it's much easier to BF overnight, but it's great he can take a bottle so dad can feed him too.

I am a huge fan of exclusive BF, but, given how exhausted you are, you could consider giving DC a bottle of formula for his late evening feed. There's evidence it fills babies up more and thus they sleep better. It won't mess up your milk supply, but might help you a bit. Sleep deprivation is probably at the root of your problem. People underestimate how detrimental it is. I have experienced it so I don't!!

we used a sleep consultant, but essentially what we did was:

1. move baby into own room and get rid of dummy, which was all much easier than expected
2. break feed to sleep association. Would feed and then put him down in cot awake (this was very tricky and I was glad we had the sleep consultant to keep us accountable. Tbh I never fully did this at night and prioritised doing it during the day to get him used to it)
3. use the disappearing chair method to slowly get him used to going to sleep on his own

I slow agree with the above that a bottle of formula before bed does wonders. The first time we did this, my baby slept like 10 hours in a row. Sadly we discovered pretty soon he had a milk allergy 😭😭😭 so we lost this superpower pretty quickly, but it’s worth having. I felt a lot of guilt about trying formula but it’s good for babies to sleep well too (and obviously good for you)