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Hyper toddler with crazy tantrums!

4 replies

Natasha198 · 22/12/2023 21:07

I know this is very likely typical 2.5 year old behaviour but I'm at my wits end and need solidarity! My DS is going through a phase of awful tantrums, screaming, hitting and not listening.

He's stopped saying "please" and "thank you", and it's very difficult to get him to say sorry when he's hit me/thrown a toy at the TV etc. We went out the other day and he just kept running off, wouldn't get in the buggy, was screaming 90% of the time and it was impossible to calm him down. He will be really hyper one minute and then be exhausted the next.

He's always had tantrums and not listened but we've always been able to reason with him. But not anymore! There is no reasoning, ever. He just doesn't listen to what we're saying and nothing seems to pull him out the tantrum, it's like he's so overwhelmed in that moment he can't hear what we're saying to him. He is constantly defying me in particular, I have been calm, I've shouted, I've put him in time out, I've ignored, I've explained things clearly and simply, I've hugged him, done gentle parenting.... Nothing works. I'm exhausted by the constant daily battle. First thing in the morning, he won't let you change his nappy, put clothes on him, brush his teeth, it's the wrong breakfast bowl etc!! And this goes on and on throughout the day. He wants to do everything on his terms, and will just ignore me.

Someone please tell me I'm not alone and that this will pass at some point!! I'm at my wits end!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SErunner · 22/12/2023 21:47

How much screen time does he have and how much refined sugar? If any more than very small amounts of either I'd cut these right back as they might be driving the hyperactivity. How well does he sleep? Lack of sleep can make kids manic too.

Practically, reins or buggy when out and ride out a few tantrums? At least he's safe then. In the morning, can you allow more time for all the faffing? We find any attempt to rush our daughter makes her behaviour tank. At this age it's better to lean into the solutions than fight the problem so perhaps try getting up earlier if needed? It can take 20 mins from getting out of bed to her getting dressed so we allow for that now. I wouldn't fixate too much on 'sorry' as they're too young to really mean it and forcing it out of him is giving him attention. Keep consistent with a calm 'we don't hit' and get up, move to a different space and distract with a different activity. You can't reason with a 2 year old so I'd stop trying that, similarly time out is not a concept they can grasp either. How to talk so little kids will listen is a good book for alternative strategies.

SErunner · 22/12/2023 21:48

Ps you're not along, they're little dictators at this age, and it will get better. Sending sympathy, it is tough and exhausting.

c307 · 22/12/2023 22:01

I'm in the same position atm with my 2.5 year old DS. Its really exhausting 😩

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TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 22:03

They're villains at this age.

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