This is long, sorry, I’ll shorten it down as much as possible. I have 3 children with my ex, 2 boys, 1 girl. I left him after many years of DV and moved back to where my family were. He would come down every 6 weeks or so but only would want me to drop my eldest to him at the park to play football. I asked him to see the other 2 but he always said they would get in the way. This went on for a while. He would occasionally have all of them in school holidays if I took them and picked them up (he’s 3 hours from me) which I did because I wanted to encourage a relationship with my children and their dad. I eventually said to him when he continued only seeing my eldest that it was all of them or none of them (my daughter had asked my son “can you give this to daddy because he only wants to see you”) and he chose none. So from that day they haven’t seen him and it’s been the biggest battle with cms to get money, he currently has arrears with them of over £20000. My eldest son is now in america on a football scholarship that I have to contribute to. To do this I have 4 jobs and literally have sacrificed everything to make this happen for him. His “dad” has got wind of this, follows the college on Instagram and has friend requested my son on Snapchat (he declined it). Tonight his “dad” has got in touch with one of my sons friends and asked him to find out what size boots and clothes he is. My son was like what do I do. I told him to message his friend saying tell him no thanks. I knew this would happen now they’re getting older (I don’t think he’s reached out to the other 2 yet) and I don’t know if he will as he just wants the trophy son, the one who’s playing football in America. I just don’t know what to do or how to feel….I’m absolutely fuming and upset but is this reasonable? I just don’t know!
also to add. This “dad” has an older daughter (my step daughter) that lives near him and he has nothing to do with her. We still have a relationship with her and see her often.