I am just too crap at it, my kids will end up hating me if they don't already

[CrackerOfNuts]

My mum obviously agrees too as she took them all off to hers this afternoon, and when she got back said 'are you in a better mood now'.

I just seem to spend all of my time moaning at them, and they spend all their time whinging and fighting and slamming doors.

You are not crap. Neither is your Mum, she is just reacting to you. I wish I had a Mother who wanted to take my kids.

I don't and I spend tons of my life moaning at them. It's a phase I promise.

It's a blood long phase then.

I just don't have enough patience to deal with them.

What she said is fine - it is the tone she said it in.

Be glad you have had some help. There are plenty of us on here who would give their right arm for an afternoon off.

I have just spent the last 10 minutes dancing with my kids while hubby played the piano. Need more times like that.

FWIW when your kids get to teenage most of them hate their parents so we will all be there.

How old are your kids?

The irony is that you will get cards saying you are the best mum in the world NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! What you are describing sounds very familiar to me. You should make sure you do things that you like for yourself as well as being mum, and greedily accept any offers from your mum to take your kids for a while. And sometimes just leave all the housework and stuff that HAS to be done and sit down with the kids to do something that may seem like total time wasting and against the rules. You will all feel like you are being rebellious together... on the same side so to speak. Kids love that.

I didn't exactly have ther afternoon off. She took them cos my hoiuse is a shit tip and I wasn't getting anything done with them here.

They are 10,8 and 5.

Any time without kids is still a break even if you do have to do housework. IMO anyway.

Ok

I think this thread is destined to go the same way as my last one in lone parents so I think i'll leave it here.

Could you put the housework on hold at the weekends. I try and just do the basics ie. wash and iron uniforms, clean shoes and make packed lunches. I save the housework for when they are at school otherwise it's a losing battle. I would make good use of the time your mum takes the children and have an indulgent afternoon. That way you will feel more refreshed on the childrens arrival.

You are being Mum, thats all that counts. Look back to your days with your Mum (I am sure that she must have been as stressed as you are), if there were bad times, then so what. She bought you up and you are one here. The Fabulous Mumsnet, where most of us are educated to degree standard or barristers (yeah right).

I remember the girl who I was best mates with when I was young. Her house was a minefield. Her Mum never seemed to do any housework. My Mum didn't like me going in there.

All four children have good jobs and recently when I went back to my home town and went in their parents house, it was immaculate and I mean sooooo immmaculate that I was shocked.

Thats what having kids does.

Cracker - I am not having a go and I apologise if it appeared that way. I struggle a lot with mine and I was just trying to help you see the positives.

I didn't mean that nastily btw, I just want to point out that having an immaculate home is not even up there with being good parents.

Take comfort in the fact that they would hate you a lot more if you were the perfect parent. Imagine being brought up by the perfect mother, the one who never got anything wrong, the one who always had complete self-control, the one whose house was in perfect order, the one who always made you feel inferior! You would end up hating them!

Your children are much better off with a real human being, viz. you.

No need to apologise NAB, you didn't upset me, I think I am just in a funny mood at the mo.

I tidied downstairs whilst my mum had the kids, so at least I can now walk around without treading on stuff.

Kids are still in moany mood, but they are goiung to start making their easter things for school in a bit so that should keep them occupied, and then they are off to their dads for the afternoon.

Believe me, I am not one of these people that thinks that they can have a immaculate house when they have 3 kids, I just can't stand it when there is crap everywhere.

I used to love having toys everywhere as I was so happy and grateful to have had a baby. Now it can get me down that the house seems to always be a mess and it isn't just their toys.

my house has crap everywhere(i have 3 too)-i managed to tidy the middle of the dining room yesterdayi bet i beat you in messy house stakes!
how old are your dc?could they do little jobs?i get dd(7) to fold washing-she loves it!
ds1(6)likes to gather bits for recycling such as all the bits of paper everywhere,i still have to check hes not throwing out bills etc but so much easier if all in one place!
even ds2(2) joins in!

Oh yes, when I just had Dd1, I didn't mind a room full of toys all day, as they were easily cleared up, but now the house always seems to be full of bits of stuff.

I dunno, i think I am just not coping very well in general at the mo, with the house or the kids. Plus I know that I am quietly getting stressed about the hen weekend I am going on in 2 weeks.

I need a chill pill.

btw i think if i had an immaculate house i might be bored!

I did once get it immaculate cheesesarnie (was having someone round), and I was then bored for the next couple of days as there was nothing to do LOL.

Right, better go sort out clothes for everyone and then start these flippin easter things.

see your organised-were all lazyly in pjs!two parties to go to today-not a present wrapped,im supposed to be preperaing food for ds to take,infact apart from make some toast and a cup of tea ivedone nowt!and ive not even thought about easter!