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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Help with 14 year old behaviour

6 replies

Marie061976 · 19/12/2023 21:32

My grandsons behaviour can be very challenging and were looking for techniques to manage his behaviour. Whenever he has a privilege removed for misbehaving ( hitting his sister, refusing to go to school, swearing) he will continue misbehaving as he said theres no point being good as he is already not allowed on his PlayStation until X day. He then refuses to go in school and then trys to make a deal with my daughter and says I'll go in school if you let me on my PlayStation. She says no and then he kicks off. She had to call the police recently which is heartbreaking. He has been being waiting to be assessed for ASD for years but CAHMS are atrocious but that's another matter. What I am looking for is advice on how to break the cycle of his behaviour from any parents who have been in a similar situation. Thanks x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

exhaustedpengy · 20/12/2023 16:07

I can't offer any advice or say it will get better unfortunately.
The only thing I can say is just to continue to be there for your daughter, she needs you more than you probably realise.

calorcalorcalor · 20/12/2023 20:28

Could she get in touch with his tutor/head of year at school and see what they suggest? If school and home are working together that might be more effective?

Original poster

Marie061976 · 20/12/2023 21:39

We've been working with school as he's on 50% attendance. School are aware of the issues. We have monthly meetings but school are not great, they just don't have the resources. His behaviour is a lot worse at home than at school as he tends to try and comply whilst in school and then erupts at home

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14 year olds Families General parenting

Original poster

Marie061976 · 20/12/2023 21:40

Thank you I'm certainly trying to be ❤️

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Nineteendays · 20/12/2023 21:49

Has she tried positive reinforcements as opposed to (or as well as) negative?

maybe try asking him what he would like as a reward and come up with a fair but achievable plan together for how he can earn it. It would need to be very clear what was expected of him and also the reward would need to be achievable fairly quickly. For example, he might really want to go to the cinema which could be done at the weekend if he earns so many positive points. If he has negative days, all doesn’t have to be lost he can still work towards the reward otherwise he will just throw in the towel. Let him help make the plan so he feels in control of it and able to achieve it.

might not work but worth a try perhaps

Ragruggers · 20/12/2023 21:57

Are you able to pay for an ASD assessment.?Waiting years is awful the sooner something is sorted the better.He is now 14 and still waiting and his behaviour will not get better only.worse The school should be pushing for more help My grandson gets so much support from school now that the police were involved,he has ASD and ADHD.There is help out there but you have to make it happen .Sorry you are in this situation your daughter needs help now.

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