Not enjoying the newborn stage …

[Ppeter500]

Hi ladies
I feel awful saying this and really don’t want to talk to anyone in real life about this …
I wished for my baby for years and years and she is the most perfect little thing, but I am just really not enjoying the newborn stage..
I don’t know what i expected from the newborn stage but everyone just to say to me ‘oh newborns are so easy, just eat sleep and s**t’ ‘make the most of how easy newborns are’, so I sort of had this false sense of reality that this would be a breeze…
it has not been a breeze at all. It’s so much harder than I expected it to be (I obviously knew that it wouldn’t be all rosey), but the sleepless nights and the crying is just more intense than I thought it would be.
it sounds awful but I just don’t enjoy it. I love the moments when we’re contact napping and the little small bursts of play time, but for the most part I do find myself thinking oh I just can’t wait for her to be a bit older and happier and in more of a routine. I sound so awful and genuinely sometimes reduce myself to tears out of guilt for thinking like this… especially because I tried for a long time to fall pregnant.
people keep saying I bet you can’t wait to have another and all I keep thinking is no, I really really do not want another one as I couldn’t imagine doing all of this again!
I know I am the worst person and I know that I should be grateful, and trust me I really am!! But as I say, just didn’t expect it all to be so hard.
just think that now I’m hitting the 8 week mark it’s all starting to take its toll and I’m feeling drained of doing everything on my own (DP works long hours so never around to help), I just feel exhausted and completely burnt out!

pleaseeeeeeee I am asking nicely do not comment if you are going to try to make me feel worse then I already feel for thinking like this!

It's absolutely relentless and you're life is 100% about them and so your needs get forgotten. Are you getting a break from the baby? Not just when they are napping - is someone else able to take the baby for 30 minutes while you go for a walk or have a rest

I know others have said this but it really does get easier. Day by day in increments and then one day you've slept through the night. Or your little one drops a feed.

Big hugs to you OP, it's relentless and exhausting.

I was the opposite to you though, I loved newborn stage but I had a baby who loved sleep, then DD hit 4 months and suddenly needed entertaining and cried when I left the room and I really struggled with 4-6 months.

She's 7 months now and the last month has been so so fun with her and my favourite stage yet, she babbles back to be, laughs, rolling and sitting up, she understands games like peekaboo now and sometimes starts laughing before I've even jumped out from whatever I'm stood behind it's super cute!

You're doing amazing, better days are coming x

I waited 11 years for my son and hated the newborn stage he constantly screamed which made me anxiety and PPD worse. Never feel guilty for these feelings it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. Mine screamed from two weeks old had colic and screamed all day and night I’m surprised I’m still alive

I found the newborn stage by far the worst bit. They're tiny and fragile and you worry about them, they don't let you have a full night's sleep, and you don't get much interaction from them except crying. And they don't want you to put them down.

The game-changer for me with DD1 was when she started laughing at about 3 months, though when they start smiling that's pretty good too.

On the plus side, if, like me, you're someone who doesn't like the newborn stage, then you have a continual process of life getting better and more interesting to look forward to. My children are now 3 and 1, and both are so much more fun than when they were newborns. The 3 year old I can have a proper conversation with! And the 1 year old is starting to talk and walk and I just love watching their development at these stages.

Just because we tried for years doesn’t mean we have to be constantly grateful we are allowed to feel this way he’s been a good contraceptive he’s 8 now and I’d love another baby but when I think about how he was I think no couldn’t do that again

Btw he didn’t stop screaming until he was 4 didn’t sleep through the night until he was 6

Yeah the first three months are an endurance test. Gets a bit easier from there. Turns out 80% of motherhood wasn't what we were sold as the dream when we were little girls.

I didn't enjoy it at all! It was relentless, I was sleep deprived (which is like torture), she didn't stop crying, I felt like I'd lost all my freedom.
But believe me, it just gets better and easier. It's lovely once they're little toddlers. Proper little people who you can have conversations with.

My little one is 7 weeks. I completely get what you say. Especially about others, lots of my family seem to have forgotten how difficult it is and seem surprised when I say he's crying!
Also baby tends to be sleeping or being cute or feeding great when other ppl are near so they just assume it like this all the time!
It's like I have 2 babies a happy day one and a grizzled night one!
I dread 5pm when whichingg hour starts - but getting a sling has massively helped as he mainly naps in that.
I've read that 8 weeks can be peak cry ( I hope) and that it often gets been after 12weeks so I clinging onto that!
Stay strong

Eldest - stomach issues cried for hours, 10 hours straight type thing. PTSD. Easiest teen ever though.
Second- easy baby, slept when hoover went on, loved music and did a pigeon type head bop at 3 weeks old to dance music (seriously). Had to be sung to sleep every night. Social butterfly, still is.
Third - very easy going. As a four year old not so easy going especially when it's a school day.

It's great when they start talking. Newborn phase - this too shall pass.

Oh OP - you’re definitely not alone. I hate the newborn stage. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten how much until I had DC2 12 weeks ago.

It’s completely relentless. The crying is horrendous and you get “nothing” back from them.

Crying peaks around this time, but then it should lessen. You’ve got to do what is best for you, if that’s co-sleeping, to help you get some sleep, that’s totally fine. My DC2 hasn’t been in her cot as I’ve taken the path of least resistance for now - you will not be making a rod for our own back.

Also, don’t feel you “should” be doing lots of things. They really don’t need much entertainment at this stage. I remember with my first writing a similar post as I felt there were all sorts of things I should be doing to help DC1 reach all sorts of development stages etc. - honestly, don’t stress about it.

Sending hugs - it will get easier.

It is really hard! A mixture of sleep deprivation and a massive life change. Everyone has stages they enjoy less and more through parenting I'm finding. You might not enjoy the newborn stage but love the older baby or toddler phase, it doesn't make you awful

You don't have to enjoy all of it OP, it's hard when joy of having your baby around is battling with sheer exhaustion all the time during the early days. Just make sure you find some time for yourself to recharge as sleep deprivation is the worst. Some babies are easy at this stage but others are not, and that's fine. You can do it, it gets easier xx

How hands on is dp on his days off? If baby is bottle fed then dp really needs to do one overnight a week so you can catch up on some sleep, the night before he has a day off.

The newborn stage is really grim. You're recovering and still probably in pain, hardly sleeping and trying to figure out what this new tiny human needs 24/7.

Winter doesn't help IMO. All the layers and waterproofs make getting out harder. Sit tight, things will get better. If you have family around at Xmas maybe even try to get out for a little walk by yourself if the sun appears. It'll help you recharge.