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Toddler prefers his daddy, awakening all my insecurities

4 replies

CarolMorgan · 18/12/2023 19:14

My 21m toddler prefers his father. He says daddy about 50 times for every time he says mommy. He’s OK playing with me alone, but if his dad is anywhere in the house, he’s wandering off to search for dad every 10 minutes. If we both pick him up from daycare, he locks eyes with his father and runs toward him screaming “DADDY!”

My mother favored my brother over me for my entire life. So this is really pricking at my insecurities. I feel like I’m just the boring housekeeper doing all the cooking, cleaning, clothes and toy shopping…. I do bath time and wake up time. I do breakfast. I play with him every single day. But somehow daddy puts in a few minutes of fun and gets to be the favorite? It doesn’t seem fair. Tonight I was putting him to bed after bathing him and dressing him and brushing his teeth, and I was acting extra playful all the while — and suddenly he said, “Daddy?”

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
luckbealadytonight · 18/12/2023 19:34

It's really normal, my 21mo can't even say Mum or Mummy/Mama yet but he can say Daddy/Dada and is totally obsessed with him.

He isn't that fussed about me at all 😂 I knew he loves me but I'm just boring Mum. It'll change as they get older.

ThisOldThang · 10/04/2024 20:57

My eldest son used to always prefer me (dad) as a 2-3 year old. We had a really close bond and he used to call me upstairs for a chat after I'd put him to bed.

After his younger brother was born he rejected me in favour of mummy and it really hurt my feelings.

I think the rejection in favour of mummy was just insecurity about having a new sibling that took up so much of mummy's time.

We've never gone back to how things were and I'm still really cut up by it.

Marie8611 · 24/03/2025 05:55

This is all developmentally normal at this age! Don’t worry! Rest assured he adores you and knows you are always going to love and care for him x

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Btowngirl · 24/03/2025 06:02

It’s difficult but just try to remember this is triggering due to a situation unrelated to your son. Also why are you doing everything? If he is so into daddy can’t you harness that and let dad do some bed/bath times to give you a break?

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