Birth and infertility

[Rose1999]

This is sensitive and I really need advice….

I gave birth a few days ago and my little girl has brought a lot of joy (first child, first grandchild)

My sister, tragically, cannot have children and it’s the thing she wants more than anything in the world. She is ecstatic to be an auntie but, understandably, is also struggling immensely.

Has anyone been in this situation? Is there anything I can do to somehow make this even remotely more bearable for her?

It’s breaking my heart 💔

I've been on the other side of a very similar coin although do now thankfully have a daughter. Let her go at her pace, explain you're there for her and there is no expectation for her to behave 'normally'. She can cry with you etc if she needs to. Listen to her pain and empathise. Understand she might flip between wanting to be involved and being standoffish. Try not to judge and to just let her adjust in her own time. She will likely feel awful, the guilt of being unable to be happy for someone you love is horrible. In time it will get better. I actually found once the baby arrived and I could see/visit/hold, it felt a bit easier despite being upsetting. The pregnancy and expectation was really difficult for me. But everyone's experience is different so just listen to her and be there for her. Congratulations on your baby too :)

Just to add to this, don't go out of your way to conceal your baby/happiness. She probably won't want that. Be sensitive and considerate but don't try and hide away. Enjoy your moment too, she's lucky to have such a compassionate sister x