I have had enough of my whinging, ungrateful kids

[CrackerOfNuts]

I am so fucked off with them all right now, my mum has taken them to hers.

well treat yourself to something indulgent while they're gone, at least you have that option!

ditto
enjoy a quiet hour or two - make the most of it.

(Not a luxury I get very often)

I just came on to start a thread exactly the same.

My kids are being spoilt, ungrateful little so & so's & i have had enough!

All they do is fight & whinge!

Unfortunatly I can't indulge in anything other than cleaning whilst they are gone.

My house is currently a tip, there isn't one room tidy and I have no clue where to start. Have spent the last 2 weeks decorating my room and sorting Dd1's room. Neither of us currently have a wardrobe (they on order) and so there are clothes everywhere.

Dd1 has been in France for the past week and when I told her to help sort her stuff out, she said 'well at least in france I knew where to put stuff as it was tidy, unlike our house'.

I have just had enough of them thin king I will do absolutly everything and they don't have to lift a finger to help me.

My mum has just rung to say Dd1 has had a strop and is on her way back round to me after stomping off telling my mum she is going to the park (shes 10 and not allowed).

I give up.

I am trying so bloody hard to get this house sorted out and looking better but that obviously involves some level of upheaval which no one but me seems to give a toss about.

if she is 10 make her clean it all up or put it in a bin bag and chuck it out the back, that might shock her into some action?! I threatened my dd with same and there hasn't been anything left on floor since as she realises am at end of tether!!

maybe not the best parenting advice given but it might work??!?!?

Thats what I said i'd do.

Can't believe I have spent all week rushing round like a nutter trying to sort her room out for when she got back, and thats how she behaves.

time for a shock tactic me thinks?

I dunno dizzy, it's not just her it's all of them, they are all the same.

I just feel like I am never gonna cope with them on my own, it always just falls apart.

ok, lets have a think.
how many are there and what age are they?

2 girls aged 10 and 8 and one boy aged 5.

and who is the biggest instigator of the problems or are they all as bad as each other

All of them really.

I am not the tidiest of people but I| do try my damn hardest to keep the place looking reasonably ok, and as I said, have been decorating all week and sorting dd1's room so now everywhere is a mess.

For example, my mum gave them a kinder egg after their dinner, and every one of them left the rubbish either on the table or on the floor.

we're at the stage of removing treats and only rewarding god behaviour, mine is only 4 though, 5 in july but she's been told she has to be on top behaviour today if she wants a surprise visitor tomorrow - she almost has a halo I can't believe it

can you sit down the eldest 2 and have a chat with them about it, give them the ultimatum that they either shape up or privilages start to go, whats their favourite things? tv, phone,pocket money?
maybe a reward system for good behaviour will start to make your life a bit easier - earning privilages by chores/good behaviour?

am sorry if this is pap advice, mine are so much younger - but also whingy and ungrateful lol

Hmm tbh they don't do that much that I can take away iykwim. Ds gets his DS removed if he is naughty and tbh it is confiscated more than not since he had it.

I normally send them to bed early if they play up, but this never really gets us anywhere.

They don't have pocket money, so I can't stop that. The girls go to Brownies and Guides but i'm loath to use not going as a punishment as I have to pay for it wether they go or not and I can't afford to pay for something they don't actually attend.

I think basically i'd just like them to be a bit more considerate towards me, but perhaps they are still too young for that.

1. House rules

2. consequences

3. rewards

I know they sound daft but it really does work.

Last summer I thought I was going to leave my kids as they did nothing but fight. they fought all the time, over nothing!!

I discovered some rules that worked well in my house. Like when they were fighting & I counted to 3 they had to stop before I got to 3 & put them in their rooms.

The consequence was they were in their room & when they were there they had to sit on the bed facing the wall so they couldn;t play with their toys etc...

Also if they play up when we are out I say "one, two.... " and they know they will be given a consequence when we get home. I have a number of these. They include not visiting granny on a Sunday (they love going there) not watching TV on weekday mornings when they are ready for school. Having no ice-lolly on a walk to thr shops.... just depriving them of something they enjoy doing.

I still bring this into play when they misbehave now!! Which thankfully isn't as often as it used to be!!

We tidy the rooms on a Friday evening. Change bed sheets etc... and whilst I put toys in boxes, dd strips her bed sheets. Then she will finish off tidying the toys whilst I load the machine with her bed clothes. Anything on the floor when she tells me she's finished, goes in the bin.

And I do throw it in the bin.

2 weeks ago she lost a bottle she takes water to bed in as it was under the bed. She also lost a little twin doll as she blatantly lied to me. She hasn't left anything on the floor since.

I know I sound hard... but dh & I are out of the house all week & we don't want to spend the whole weekend tidying toys.

Your dd, at 10, is more than old enough to start to tidy up after herself & show good example to the younger ones. Maybe get them started picking up after themselves. You'll be amazed how much time it cuts out for you.

Best of luck anyway

That sounds good WOS. I think half of the problem with my kids is that they don't care if they lose something.

Going to sort some more washing and will be back when i've thought of some more ideas.

Yes, mine were the same, that's why I stopped it being objects they lost & moved it to visits with granny & TV. Also dd loves listening to my mp3 player whilst I make dinner in the evenings, so I stop that too if she's misbehaving.

Cracker, have you read 'how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'? It is often recommended on here.
I find it works well with DS who is 5.
Also, 'sibling rivalry' by the same authors is pretty good if they fight a lot. There are ideas on how to help them solve their own disagreements. DCs are 5 and 3 and are definitely getting the hang of sorting out the little stuff although the level of self control required to problem solve rather than fight is beyond them when they are tired.

No advice to give,but I feel the same about my youngest two at the moment, girls aged 9 and 11, every sentance starts with she said or she did, they fight from morning to night and my house is a bombsite as well