9 year old behaviour driving me crazy

[flowerpot258]

Bit weird. Not sure if this is something other kids do.

My 9 year old daughter is in the habit of not wiping herself after going to the toilet. I think she does wipe for poop but she definitely does not wipe when she does a pee.

I have no idea how this became a habit. I've only just noticed in the past week or so because we had ran out of loo roll and before I replaced it she went to the toilet and I questioned how she had wiped herself with no paper.

She is still doing it after I have had a talk with her about it. She doesn't know why she does it, she says she'll stop but hasn't. I have explained multiple times that it's unhygienic, she could get an infection etc and potentially smell if she's walking around with pee on her underwear.

I just don't get it and I'm not sure how to fix the problem. She got up this morning, peed, didn't flush, I asked if she used toilet paper, she said yeah and walked away but as she didn't flush I was able to see there was no toilet paper in the loo. So she lies about it aswell. I just really don't get it.

I have told her today that when she's back from school she will not get her iPad or her PlayStation and she's essentially grounded and not allowed friends over. I'm not sure if this will be enough of a deterrent

Any suggestions or anyone who has been through this?

I have also explained that men/boys typically don't always use toilet paper when peeing but girls most definitely should. She does have some male friends and at school they have gender neutral toilets so I thought maybe she is copying the boys. She just keeps saying she's sorry, she loves me, she won't do it again (eventhough she's said that before)

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I feel like there has been a big overreaction here OP. Of course you want to teach her good hygiene but punishing her feels unnecessary and her feeling the need keep apologising and saying she loves you makes it sound like she is anxious,

Nine year olds can be a bit lazy or gross, most grow out of it. I would offer her the option of using a flannel or wipe(make sure she knows they go in the bin) as well as toilet roll as maybe she isn’t keen on the feel of the toilet roll. But at the age she is at with puberty approaching I would be treading gently as you don’t want her to be embarrassed or hiding things from you because she is worried about how you might react.

9 year old girls can definitely be gross, I have to remind mine to change pants and wash hands. I didn't punish mine, but she also went on to get UTI's. Perhaps just make sure she's showering regularly and clean undies.

Welcome to the world of lots of 9 year olds. They’re too busy for that stuff. Calmly repeat, she’ll get it in the end.

Thanks for the replies. I hadn't realised I had maybe overreacted. I've been telling her for a couple of weeks now to stop and she just keeps doing it and the lying about it also gets on my nerves. She doesn't know why she does it. I'll give her the option of toilet wipes and see if that helps any