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Parenting

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Original poster

How do you move to drop-off playdates without offending the mum

7 replies

Dandelionchaser · 17/12/2023 17:57

DD is 5, started school this year. She has a couple of new friends we've had playdates with, which have involved a very intense couple of hours chatting to the mum. Now I have enjoyed this, genuinely, it's been good getting to know the kids' mums and we get along well. I feel though that if we're going to have playdates regularly I would love to sometimes drop her off or have the other child dropped off at ours without having to do the mum-date thing every time! I feel a bit weird suggesting it though, like it makes it sound like I don't enjoy their company and would rather not hang out with them. Possibly they feel the same way though and don't want to offend me! How do you move on to dropping off without it being awkward?

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Himawarigirl · 17/12/2023 18:01

Just phrase it casually, “I’m happy to pick your dd up from school if that’s easier for you and you think she’ll be happy with it…” and see if the other mum bites your hand off.

spilltheteapot · 17/12/2023 18:02

Id suggest that if she has any errands to run she’s welcome to leaver her daughter with you and pick her up after she’s finished, and suggest she could return the favour for you?

DNLove · 17/12/2023 18:04

I'd phrase it in a giving type way "if Johnny is OK being here without you leave him here and go have a couple of hours to yourself, so hard for us mammies to get time alone." You should get the same in return if you're son happy to stay without you next time"

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Seeline · 17/12/2023 18:06

Or the other way round - DC has said they don't need me to stay this time, shall I collect at 6? You've got my number?

PaperDoIIs · 17/12/2023 18:11

Before you go there . "I need to x,y,z is that ok?".

When you invite him over "Hey, can jimmy come over after school? I'll pick both boys up and you can collect at 6. Thanks"

Superscientist · 18/12/2023 12:17

Have a reason to nip out during the next play date and then on the return ask how they were and suggest a drop off play date next time?

Or when you have the playdate at yours say if there you have things to do they are ok here. I can call if there are issues.

spriots · 18/12/2023 12:29

Around here the norm seems to be that parents stay for reception age children but that it moves to drop off from year 1.

There's no harm in asking but some parents just may not be comfortable with it - either way, they may not want to take responsibility for your child or theirs may not be ready to be left

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