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Parenting

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Teen DS stealing money

3 replies

GlitteryFarts · 17/12/2023 17:56

I have noticed that my younger sons money boxes have had less money in than they should have and also noticed that my 13yo ds has been 'finding' money quite frequently when out and about. Coming home with sweets / drinks when he has no money left after spending pocket money in one go and a few weeks ago he had a £15 Xbox voucher he 'found'.

I had my suspicions so I counted and notes down how much the younger kids had in their money boxes and kept quiet. Today I noticed the drawer they're in wasn't closed properly and nobody has any reason to go in there. My eldest has just came home with more stuff and proudly told us he had found £20 on the floor. I went upstairs and counted and low and behold, ds8 had 20 less than I had written down.

I instantly called the eldest upstairs and straight out asked him. He denied at first until I showed him what I had written down and what was there and told him the drawer was open slightly and asked again. He admitted taking £20 and brought me £13 change he had left over.

I admit I blew up, I shouted at him that I was disgusted he had stole from his 8 year old brother to spend on drinks and sweets when we have plenty at home and that if I ever found out he had stolen from anyone I would be calling the police. He has takin himself off to bed and is very sheepish. I have also told him that the first £20 of his Christmas money he gets off anyone is going straight into his brother's moneybox regardless of him returning 13 as I don't know how much he has stolen before this point.

I feel sick. I have had suspicions for a while but convinced myself I had miscounted as I didn't want to think of him as that kind of person.
His friends get so much pocket money, I'm a single parent so its hit and miss when I can give him any, usually I'll give him 10 a fortnight but I admit some weeks I just don't have it to give him. He spends it all the same day on crap (£7 box of donuts from tim hortons last time an hour after getting it) and I begrudge giving him it to blow but I do when I can. Is this part of the problem do you think? That he feels inferior to his friends that seem to have an endless cash flow?

What do I do? 😭 I don't want to raise a thief. I have offered him the opportunity to earn money doing chores but he does them once (half arses) then never does it again.

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Magenta65 · 17/12/2023 17:59

Hide the money at home and I’d keep track of what’s in the m on why boxes from now on. I’d also stop the pocket money for awhile and make him earn it via chores. Say £2.50 a week minimum and he can top it up doing various things. If he has to earn it he’ll appreciate it more in the long run. If he doesn’t want to do chores then tough no money

MissyB1 · 17/12/2023 18:15

just check that there isnt something more to this. Is he being bullied and having to "pay" someone else? Is there (god forbid) an addiction he's hiding? Has it really just been for sweets? I would want to really get to the bottom of this, why did he feel the need to do it.

GlitteryFarts · 17/12/2023 18:16

Thankyou magenta. I have put a piece of paper into each box with the amount they have in there and I will update each time they add or remove from it. If he ever tries again hopefully this will deter him.
I've calmed down now and went to ask him why. He said because he doesn't have any of his own. I told him as soon as he gets some he wastes it within an hour and he didn't have much to say in response.

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