I feel like this is going to be a long one, so I'll apologise in advance. I've been with my partner for 5 years, he has a 6 year old from a previous relationship. They did not end on good terms, and as a result its always been very difficult to compromise with her. He went through a period where she wouldnt let him see his daughter for around a year. She will not entertain a conversation with him, so all communication goes through me, which is a challenge in itself.
He pays full maintenance, as if she doesn't stay overnight with us, however we have her every weekend and school holidays. We pay half for everything on top of that school uniforms, holidays etc. For the past 3 years we have done every journey (I can count on one hand the amount of times the ex has picked her up) for us to pick her up it's a 2 hour, 70 mile round trip. We do that every Friday and Sunday, and if there's a birthday party or something going on at school on a saturday we will do it 3 times in a weekend. We cancel / rearrange plans when she makes last minute arrangements to suit her. From what we've heard from his daughter and his exs mum her grandma and grandad are raising her more than the ex at the moment, she doesn't seem to be very present due to her social life.. we have brought up before that we think it's about time she starts making a journey or as a bare minimum meeting us half way one of the journeys and she kicked off about how he was just trying to control her and he doesn't care about his daughter etc.
Am I wrong in letting this annoy me? Should we be doing all the journeys? Should he be paying full maintenance when she stays with us every weekend plus 3 or 4 weeks of holidays too?
I feel like we've kept it up for so long because it's the easy thing to do. We haven't had a weekend together as a couple for 3 years as she refuses to have her at the weekend, and says its not her problem. I just can't figure out if I'm over reacting or not