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Parenting

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Daddy behaving badly

4 replies

Nannydoglady · 16/12/2023 08:46

My grandson is 7 and his parents split a few months ago due to mild drug abuse on his dad's part. Visiting arrangements are that he stays with his dad every other weekend and things were going fine for a while (we were concerned about his drug use but were assured that this wasn't happening on visits) he would thoroughly enjoy his weekends with dad, fast forward and for the last 3 visits the child has wanted to come home because dad was taking him to his new girlfriends place where he was left to watch the TV for the entirety, my daughter called him and asked how he was and he just wanted to come home and said he didn't want to stay there again. The 2nd and 3rd visits were arranged so that he didn't stay overnight and dad didn't come for him after promising to take him places and do some exciting things. Poor little lad waited all day for him. Now the poor little fella has it in his head that no one likes him and is naturally very upset and keeps asking if everyone especially mum is going to leave him on his own. We are so worried about him and really don't know how to deal with all this? My husband and I have a very strong relationship with him but, I am frightened to ask him how he's doing because he is just his normal self when he stays with us and I'm frightened if I ask it just drags it all back up and I don't want to upset him, but I think he really needs to talk more, we are as a family doing everything we can to constantly reassure him that we are all here for him no matter what but just don't know how else to help him through this 🥺🥺😥😥

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DustyLee123 · 16/12/2023 12:32

Let him talk when he wants to, don’t try and drag it out of him. And perhaps it’s best if he isn’t told when dad is having him, to avoid disappointment when he doesn’t turn up.

Nannydoglady · 16/12/2023 16:21

Yes this is what we have been doing but his dad tells him he will come the next day with promises of days out which never materialise or doesn't turn up 🙁😡

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Superscientist · 16/12/2023 18:15

Give him so long and then do something fun with him

My sister had limited contact with her biological father when my parents got together. The first time he didn't turn up and my sister spent the day looking out of window for him. The visit was rearranged and an hour after the allotted time he still wasn't there my dad said to my sister how about a day out. It wasn't long after this that contact was lost completely and as far as my sister is concerned we have the same dad.

You don't get to chose if he turns up but you do have control about what the rest of the day looks like.

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Nannydoglady · 17/12/2023 00:08

Yes we did this last week but when he went to bed he cried uncontrollably for so long it was heartbreaking, we took him ice skating on Monday x

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