New parent arguments divorce?

[Megan1591]

We have a much wanted and awaited 6 week old baby girl.
My husband has gone back to work after the 2 weeks and has returned to the gym (4-5 times a week)and his other hobby shooting (1-2 times a week). This last couple of weeks, we have been arguing a lot in regards to how he spends his time. His day is a long one, his alarm goes off at 4am, works until 1pm, then gym and gets home for 3pm, he walks the dogs (which weather depending I go with him) one or two afternoons a week he will go shooting. I take care of the baby after a csection, nightfeeds, household chores, foodshop, cooking etc. whilst I respect he has full on day. His hobbies like gym and shooting are a luxury. I have tried to explain to him that I do not mind him doing those hobbies but it would be appreciated if he could give me down time and take the baby. This afternoon he went shooting and I stayed at home with the fussy baby, got the food shop in and cooked dinner for him and his mum. Once his mum had left, I got the baby ready for bed and went in the bath. He came and took the baby and said don't be long as he wants to go to bed. It was 8.30pm. I internally lost my mind, as he has no time stipulations on shooting etc, but I can't even have an untimed bath. I've been having the same conversation for weeks, an argument irrupted. Where I pretty much said I want a divorce, which I regret. I just want more help! I feel like his life has not changed at all! Am I being unreasonable? To put into context, I work normally and still currently pay half the mortgage etc

Sorry to say this OP, but he sounds like an absolute twat.

He's currently at work and has messaged to say what time are you going to the gym. I have been saying a want to go back to the gym, as I think it would be good for my mental health. I'm guessing this is him trying?
Because I like keeping a nice house and used to work two jobs, I automatically took the chores etc to even the load.
I'm dreading him coming home today as I just don't want to finish this argument. All I wanted him was to say, I see what you mean, let's make sure you get a little bit of downtime a day.
Thanks for all your support, it's given me the courage to go back and say what I'm asking for isn't unreasonable!

Just tell him what time you going to the gym. When he comes give him the baby and leave him to it. And later tell him that it needs both of you to work together as a team and to be present and involved with taking care of your child and running the home. And that if he is making your life as a single mum then you will end up choosing that option. No bloody grovelling or apologising or anything else.

Please just don't be grateful for any little crumb he gives you. He should be doing his share & furthermore he should want to do his share.

Agreed. You might be on mat leave and want to be with your child during this time but it does not make it easy. Outside of his working hours he should be stepping up 50/50 in everything else. Also if you are taking a hit in salary on mat leave you should be changing your financial arrangement so you aren't paying. Tell him if you went back to work you would be splitting childcare costs 50/50. look up a local nursery and show him the full time fees for that. anything he does in the house or with his child is not doing you a favour or helping you out anymore than you contributing financially is helping him with his responsibilities!