My current partner (M43) and his ex (F39) have been separated approx 5yrs. They have 3 children together aged 9, 12 and 14.
They own a house together, they were not married. Ex works 16hrs per week and she states she is unable to work full time, therefore she is unable to afford to take the house on herself. Legally, the house does not have to be sold until the youngest reaches the age of 18. She has new partner appears serious long term relationship, not sure if he is officially living in the property.
My husband pays her half the mortgage at £540 p/m (due to go up with fixed term ending) and gives £900p/m maintenance (£300 per child) in addition uses petrol weekly to do school runs to and from and pays for extra things such as clothes, haircuts, school lunches, activities etc.
He works 7 days a week because this total amount is over half of his normal salary and as we need to pay our own increasing mortgage and bills he needs the overtime. I work full time.
He rarely gets quality time with his children or me as his outgoings are so high.
She is regularly contacting requesting more money and stating that he does not spend enough time with children, this is something he really wants to do and I can see it brings him down that he misses out on time with them. He is trying his best to save money so that he can take time off to take them away. She has stated she will go through csa which at this stage I think might be better as £1600 a month with everything included seems a lot? Especially given as we have a second mortgage to pay with bills etc.
We would like a child of our own (I do not have children) but this feels impossible given our financial circumstances. Ideally he would like his children 50% of the time but ex is unwilling, I fear this is due to the lack of funds she will receive and does not see it in best interest of children so they can have a positive and good relationship with their father.
Have considered court as an option but that is more money. Solicitor at free consultation suggested forcing sale but understandably reluctant for children’s sake.
Who is being unreasonable?