We are so on our own with our kids - feeling very overwhelmed !

[tortoiseSHELL]

Reading threads on here makes me realise how much our children (ds1,6,dd,4,ds2,1) miss out on their grandparents. My parents live 300 miles away, dh's 130. Dh's mum hasn't been here for 6 years, my parents haven't been in a year. We went to my parents at Christmas, but we can't visit either sets now, as they are all nervous of 'germs'. And with 3 small children they always have some sniffle. My parents are still in their 50s, we should be able to enjoy the children having young grandparents!

I just feel so on my own, with dh. We have no-one to help with any childcare stuff - some amazing friends who help us when we need help (but I always hate imposing on people with 3 little ones) - having a grandparent locally would make so much difference. But also, we have no-one to 'share' the children with - they can't enjoy the children, or chat to them, or hear them playing the piano, or see them doing their gym. It makes me so sad. .

you're not being self-indulgent at all, what you want if for your kids to experience something wonderful that you had when you were a child, no harm in that

I adored both my gran and great aunt on my mums side, dad's both dead, and even named dd1 after them. It saddens me that neither of my girls will be so close to their gran's.

my mum didn't even come up when dd2 was born as she was looking after nephew and wouldn't come help out when dd2 was in hosp for a week as he had the cold and brother and sil couldn't take time off work to look after him I desperately have to hope that the bias is due to distance because the alternative is too awful to think about

am now kickig myself for whinging as they've just phoned to say they're coming over from ireland for a visit at end of may - arse - serves me right

that's always the way though dizzy!!!! Glad they're able to come over for a visit.

I have had Sport Relief on the TV this evening, and now feel very small and insignificant. Will count my blessings instead.

tortise please don't worry its a valid concern and not unreasonable - am off to volunteer for overtime that weekend lol

Even though they aren't close by, you can still call, share pics, maybe a webcam etc.

I lost my mum when I was 10, DS will never know his granny and she wont be there for any special occasions.

Try to focus on the positives, what I wouldnt give to me able to pick the phone up to my mum.

I'm sorry HappyMummyofOne. Dh really would love his dad to have met the children, so I appreciate that. I'm so sorry you lost your mum at such a young age.

How are you today Tortoiseshell?
(I watched Sport Relief too last night and blubbed through it all (was out babysitting so not able to reply again to your thread). It was shocking wasn't it. Thoses poor children broke my heart. Anyway.....)

Brothers are odd sometimes. He sounds younger and at a totally different stage in life too. My bro never contacts us but we do see him when we visit my Dad and stepmum.

It is lovely to be able to share your children with someone who loves them ie grandparents. You can be proud in a way you can't be with friends going through the same thing. You are justified in feeling sad about it.

Try the Skype though. Hope it works.
(Oh and the germs thing is def v odd..)

Hi VP - I'm feeling a bit less 'under water' today. I got really upset last night, but woke up thinking what amazing friends we have, and how we are really lucky in that respect - we have a fantastic group of friends, who all have young children, we all get on really well (and were all friends before children which I think really helps).

My brother is very much at a different stage in his life - he is just finishing a phd, is 4 years younger, and just isn't into the whole 'kids' thing. He has offered to take ds1 to a football match, so maybe as the children get older he may get more involved (when they're more like human beings!).

I will try the Skype I think.

I understand how upsetting it is.

On the one hand I do feel a bit silly and childish for wanting my parents to be involved and interested in my life. On the other hand I want my parents to be involved and interested in my life!!

My parents have seen my little girl 3 times in her life (she's 22 months old). Each time it was only for a night or two. They only live in France, but they don't like to leave the dogs...

We do go and visit them but it's a bit crippling financially to keep popping over. We just can't afford it this year. I'm expecting my second baby in a few weeks and I'm not sure if they'll come and visit when it's born or not.

You're spot on when you say it's about 'sharing' the children. I want my parents to know about the little things - that dd can swim wearing armbands, and she can sing twinkle twinkle, and she always says 'yogurt' wrong, and she loves her mouse more than anything. I feel sad for her that she doesn't have the same extended audience of adoring fans as her friends.

Aww.
It is great that you have the friends though! Seriously that is lovely. Most of our school/home friends whom I would love to be nearer don't have children yet. We only moved to this area two years ago and although I have made friends (and one good one in particular) the friends I have made know I will be moving again (DH is forces and they are civvie) and so they are not quite letting themselves go iyswim... My best friends with children, I made at our last posting (when dd was a baby) and so we are scattered in four different locations now....I think this is why my family are so important, but I spend all our holidays visiting them and struggle to fit in visiting friends....
I hope you can share your children with your friends. And hope that Skype works out. It must be hard.