Planning baby No. 3 but can't decide on age gap. Advice anyone?

[WinkyWinkola]

I have a DS (nearly 3) and a DD (nearly 1). Both are April babies. I thought a 2 year age gap would work brilliantly as they'd be close in age and possibly have a greater chance of being friends as a result.

DS was consumed with jealousy and was frighteningly violent towards his sister. He's quite loving now (nearly a year on!) but can still happily bully her.

I definitely want at least one more child but can't bear the thought of hurting DD's feelings like DS's feelings were hurt.

So, is it better to wait until she's a bit older - say, 2½? Would she be able to handle a new baby better, do you think?

Or is it down to personality and not really relevant how old she is?

I was thinking about this today, I also have a 3 year old and a 1 year old
My older one is just in a jealous phase now although all was okay before

I'm also thinking about my age as I'm 33 now

I don't think it's really down to age tbh. ds was 2yr 8m when ds2 wsa born and although not violent towards him he didn't really want him there and asked me if we could send him back because he didn't like him.
I want to TTC again when ds2 is a year old.
all you can do is try and prepare them, and in some ways I think a smaller age gap might be preferable.

perhaps with a third it's different anyway, because child number 2 has never had you all to themself anyway

I have a 7yr old and a 3yr old, DC3 is coming any day.

I love the age gap between mine, it means about 6 months or so after new baby, DS will be going to playgroup which we have bouyed him up about, and he is really excited (he could've started already but we decided to keep him home).
Both were/are old enough each time to understand what was going on, and to be given enough jobs to 'help' etc.

Also they've always been at different stages so no real clashing, plus DS is old enough to play the games his 'amazing big sister' tells him to, and she likes to boss him around.
So IMO, a 3-4yr gap is perfect.

Obv you can't predict what gap you may get
I was thinking if I go for a slightly longer one then DC1 will be in school and DC2 will be in preschool

think it is personality. I had 2,2yrs between ds and dd1 then 12mths from dd1 to dd2 and it worked well for us

I've got neary three years between dd1 and dd2 - which was a lovely gap and then 6 years between dd2 and dd3 - which is working out great so far. Just go with your gut instinct - it all comes out in the wash

Personality rather than age. Some kids are more likely to be jealous and others are more easy going. So i would choose a gap that suits you rather than trying to second guess how your dcs will react. Personally I'd go for a close gap, because although the early months are hard, you get the payback later on, with kids who are at a similar stage and will be prepared to do similar activities. Some of my friends with big age gaps have huge problems trying to organise suitable days out/holdays etc which will keep everyone happy. They've also found it hard when the older ones reach about 12/13 yrs and are too old for babysitters, but there's still a younger sibling of 4 or 5 which means the parents have to get a sitter in for evenings out. Older kids have apparently given them hell for it! Another advantage of having them close together is it means you can get your life and work back together sooner.

I have 18m between Ds1 & DS2 and 23m between DS2 and DD (who is 8m old). So DS1 was 3.5 when DD came along.
I think these age gaps are great. Although your first might have been jealous when the 2nd came along they won't remember life without each other. My DS1 cannot remember life without DS2 and DS2 won't be able to remember life without DD so jealous or not no harm done!
Its hard having all three at home but then also there were no time pressures to get out in the mornings with a new baby either. The 1st two play well togther (that started once DS2 could walk) amd so it leaves me freer to deal with the baby.
But thats just my opinion!

Ds was born when dd2 was 6 and dd2 was 4. I found this worked well as the girls were both at school full time. They had their own routine, friends etc. and because they weren't at home all day, didn't get a chance to be jealous of how all consuming new babies are. They've also taken on hugely responsible big sister roles.

Message withdrawn

There's an article on this very topic
from the Telegraph online:

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/education/2008/01/26/fababygap26.xm l

mulberry bag - good point about the school run

Tbh I'd just get on with it!!! I found the 14 month gap worked well for us, 2 years seems huge now. I've also got a 5.5 year gap and it's like have an only child as the eldest.