School problems year 10 - all girls school

[Bordador]

Hello wise mums and dads of year 10 … I’d be grateful for some advice please. This term my daughter is being targeted by one girl who is tormenting her in certain classes … yet my daughter literally begs me not to tell her form tutor for fear of retribution and making it worse.
What would you do? Has anyone actually told the school and has the problem stopped? Or do we just have to put up with it and move out at sixth form? Or desperate measures, even home school?! I’m finding it hard to concentrate on my own work knowing this is going on, and feel helpless, like my hands are tied.

I’m sorry your daughter is going through this. Year 10 girls can be horrid.
I’m a teacher. You absolutely must tell the school. Almost certainly this girl has history for upsetting other students. They need to know and will also know how to deal with it. You don’t need your daughter’s permission. You’re the adult here.

Yes .. tell the school. You must advocate for her . I would explain that she is desperate for you not to tell / worried that things will get worse and ask them to manage discreetly and with sensitivity x

P.s I have been where you are in terms of worrying and not being able to concentrate on your own life, it's so hard and so stressful, hugs to you x

You have to tell the school. Is this a private school?

No, an all girl's grammar school in Kent ...

Thank you for your comments. I'm writing an email to her school as I type.

I've just sent a long email. Thank you for spurring me on.

Tell the school. They will have seen it all before. It’s not right one vile kid having such a negative impact on your poor Dd (and you).

I was forbidden from going in when dd2s “friends” all turned on her and ostracised her but dd2 did manage to deal with it herself but it was an awful time. I still wonder if we should have gone in. Dd2 is in a good place now so things do change (also all girls). Also that was year 8.

This girl is rather old to be doing this - most girls by year 10 are at least pretending to be “nice” there is not kudos in being visibly bitchy to other girls it’s all “be kind” (or at least to pretend to).

Good call. When you put things in writing, there is a paper trail and the school will have to tell you what they are going to do about it. Bullying is very damaging and should be treated as such.