I’ve posted about my DD before on here last year regarding school refusal; thankfully that is all sorted now, she will have the occasional moan about school but no refusal, tears or screaming for me at the door that we did have.
I suppose I’m just wondering if her behaviour is normal; for some back story, she hasn’t had the best start to life. My relationship with her dad was traumatic, abusive, she witnessed some of it and unfortunately I don’t think he’s a great parent. I’ve never had concrete evidence to stop contact, and it’s never been serious enough to stop, but it’s things like smoking in the house, not brushing her hair or teeth, not doing homework with her, etc. Things I very much disapprove of but nothing I can stop his parental rights over.
When she’s at home she does all that but she needs persuading. Most things I ask of her are met with resistance; having a bath, having her hair brushed, brushing her teeth, going to bed.. after me and her dad broke up (coming up to 5 years ago) we coslept for about a year, and since then I’ve been sitting in her room until she falls asleep. I’ve asked why she needs me to sit with her and she tells me otherwise she feels lonely or scared. Most nights she also wakes up during the night and will shout me, at which point I get into her bed (luckily it’s a kingsize!)
She also doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about doing much. She has a lot of interests but they’re all home-based. We’ve tried three different after school activities over the last couple of years, some that she stuck with for 6 months, others only a few weeks. She’s got a lot of friends at school but only 1-2 that’s she’s really close with, she’s never bothered about birthday parties or anything like that. Most places we go to she will complain about walking or being tired, stop walking and refuse to go places she doesn’t want to.. things I would expect from her when she was a toddler, not now at 8 years old.
She’s an extremely loving child, always telling me she loves me, always wanting to be near me or hugging me which I love about her and we have an extremely tight bond. I suppose I’m just wondering if this is normal 8 year old behaviour? I see people taking their kids to 3 different clubs a week and it makes me feel guilty, but as much as I’ve tried she isn’t interested.